"LOVE'S LABOURS LOST " ACT I I SCENE i

" ... Y'KNOW ... ? ... I LOST ... MY BOY - FRIEND ... ... OF FIVE - AND - A - HALF YEARS ... ? ... OVER YOU ... !!! ... REMEMBER I TOLD YOU THAT " R A L P H " ... ? ... SAID HE WAS GONNA ...? ... " D U M P " ... ME ... ? IF I HELPED YOU OUT ... ... LAST TIME ... ? ... BACK IN FEBRUARY ... ? ... WELL ... ? WHEN HE FOUND OUT I GAVE YOU MONEY ... ? ... HE DUMPED ME ... !!!". " ... "WHY" DID HE DO "THAT" FOR ... ? ... "WHAT" BUSINESS WAS THAT OF ... " H I S " ... ? ... "WHAT" DOES IT MATTER ... ? ... "WHO" YOU GAVE MONEY TO ... ? ... IT WASN'T ... ? " H I S " ... MONEY ... ???!! ... WAS IT ... !!???". " ... HE SAW IT ... ? AS A SIGN OF ... ... " D I S - LOYALTY " ... !!! ... HE SAYS THAT I'M ... ? S T I L L ... ? ... IN L O V E ... ? WITH YOU ... !!!! ". " ...WELL ... ? A R E , YOU ... ? ... ARE YOU ... ? S T I L L ... ? ... IN LOVE ... ? WITH , " M E "... ?????!!!". ... MOMENTARY SILENCE ... THEN ... ? A SCOWL ... " ...IF I'M ... ? S T I L L ... ? IN LOVE ... ? ... WITH YOU ... ? ... WHAT AM I DOING SITTING ON ... " T H I S " ... ? ... SIDE OF THE TABLE ... ? ... AND YOU ' RE SITTING OVER ... " T H E R E " ... ? ... AT THE OTHER SIDE OF THE TABLE ... ????!!!! ... WE'RE N O T ... ? " D O I N G - I T " ... ? ... ARE WE ... ????!!! " . " ... WELL ...? IT SEEEEMS TO ME ... ? ... THAT SOME - ONE AS "SHALLOW" ... ? ... AS OLE " RALPHIE - BOY " ... COMES OFF ... ? ... (AT LEAST ) , TO ... ? M E ... ??? ... WAS ONLY LOOKING FOR ... ... SOME VERY , VERY CONVENIENT ... " E X C U S E " ... ? ... TO DUMP YOU , OVER ... !!! ... DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT HE WAS JUST ... ... A BIG OLE "MAMA 'S BOY " ... ? ... STILL LIVING WITH HIS MOMMY AND DADDY ... ? ... IN HIS PARENTS' HOUSE ... ... OUT IN THE SWAMPS OF SECAUCUS , NEW JERSEY ... ? ... SCARED SHIT - LESS OF THE BIG ... " C " - WORD ... ? ... AS IN ... ? " C O M M I T M E N T " ... !!!??? ... AND HAD ALL THOSE ... ? " I S S U E S " ... ? ... ABOUT GETTING ... M A R R I E D ... !!!??? ... FURTHER - MORE ... ? ... I SEEM TO REMEMBER ... ? ... THAT YOU PHONED ... ? " M E "... ? ... AFTER THE WORLD TRADE CENTER ATTACK ... ? ... ' CAUSE " RALPHIE - BOY " ... ? ... DIDN'T WANNA "HEAR" IT ... ? ... AND BACKED - OFF FROM "YOU" ... ? ... AFTER THE DISASTER ... ? ... ' CAUSE HE JUST COULDN'T "HANDLE" IT ... ? ... AND YOU WERE " BOO- HOO - HOO - ING " ... ? ... TO ... ? " M E " ... ???!!! ... ABOUT HOW THAT ... ? " THE WORLD'S ... ... LARGEST , MOST COMPREHENSIVE ... ... INSURANCE LIBRARY ... IN EXISTENCE "... ? ... HAD JUST BEEN DESTROYED ... ? ... IN A MATTER OF A FEW SECONDS ... ? ... BY A JET - FUEL FIRE - BALL ... !!!! ... AND ... ? THAT ALL YOUR PRECIOUS YEARS ...? ... OF INFORMATION COLLECTION , RESEARCH , ... AND CATEGORIZATION ... ? ... WAS NOW ... ? G O N E ... !!! FOR - EVER ... !!! ... " IT'S ALL ... G O N E ... !!! G O N E ... !!! ... G O N E ... !!!". ... AND YOU ... ? WERE CRYING YOUR LITTLE EYES OUT ... ... ON M Y SHOULDER ... ? ... INSTEAD OF CRYING ON THAT SHALLOW LITTLE ... ... ASS - HOLE ... " RALPHIE'S" ... ? ... SHOULDER ... ????!!! ... ' CAUSE ... " RALPHIE " ... ? ... WAS NEVER AVAILABLE , THERE , "EMOTIONALLY" ... ? ... FOR "YOU" ... !!!?? ". " ...I DON'T REMEMBER "THAT" ... !!! ... I D O REMEMBER PHONING YOU UP ... ... TO COME AND GET ME ... ? ... AND ... ?I D O REMEMBER ... ... THAT YOU TOOK A VERY LEISURELY ... ? ... T H R E E - H O U R ... SHOWER ... !!! ... F I R S T ... !!!!". " ... WOMEN ... ? ... SEEM TO HAVE SUCH A LOVELY CONVENIENT MEMORY ... ... WHEN IT SUITS ... ... THEM ... !!! ... IF ONLY , I HAD SAVED THOSE TAPES ... ... ON MY TELEPHONE ANSWERING MACHINE ... ... WHERE YOU POURED-OUT YOUR LITTLE ACHING , ... MISERABLE HEART TO ... " M E " ...!!! ... N O T ... " R A L P H I E " ... !!! ... TEAR - FULLY RE - COUNTING THE "TRAGEDY" ... ... HOW MANY FRIENDS ... ... AND CO - WORKERS YOU HAD LOST ... !!! ... AND ABOUT HOW MEANING - LESS ... ... THE WORLD ... LIFE , IN GENERAL ... ... AND ... ? YOUR LIFE , IN THE PARTICULAR , ... HAD BECOME ... !!! ... IN THE FACE OF SUCH ENORMITY OF HUMAN SUFFERING , ... DEATH , AND DESTRUCTION ...!" " ... I DON'T REMEMBER " A N Y " OF THAT ... !!!". " ... NO ... YOU WOULDN'T ... !!! ... Y'KNOW ... ? ... YOU NEVER LET ME GET AWAY WITH ... ? ... H A L F THE " SHIT " ... ? ... YOU LET "RALPHIE" GET AWAY WITH ... !!! ... YEAH , AND I KNOW , " W E " ... WERE MARRIED ... .... WHICH MAKES A L L THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD ...? ... TO ... ? " Y O U " ... !!! ... BUT IT'S THE SAME THING ... ... IN MY BOOK ... !!! ... AS "THEY" SAID ... BACK IN THE SEVENTIES ... ? ... A "PIECE OF PAPER" ... ? ... DOESN'T MAKE US MARRIED ...!!! ... A FIVE - AND - A - HALF YEAR RELATIONSHIP ... ? ... MAKES YOU MARRIED ... !!! AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED ...! ... AND IF YOU WOULDN'T LET " M E " ... ? ... GET AWAY WITH THAT SORTA S H I T ... ? ... YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE LET "RALPHIE" ... PULL THAT "CRAP" ... ON YOU , EITHER ... !!!".