ballinaslough

"LOVE'S LABOURS LOST " ACT I I SCENE i

2007-09-04T19:25:00.001-07:00

" ... Y'KNOW ... ? ... I LOST ... MY BOY - FRIEND ... ... OF FIVE - AND - A - HALF YEARS ... ? ... OVER YOU ... !!! ... REMEMBER I TOLD YOU THAT " R A L P H " ... ? ... SAID HE WAS GONNA ...? ... " D U M P " ... ME ... ? IF I HELPED YOU OUT ... ... LAST TIME ... ? ... BACK IN FEBRUARY ... ? ... WELL ... ? WHEN HE FOUND OUT I GAVE YOU MONEY ... ? ... HE DUMPED ME ... !!!". " ... "WHY" DID HE DO "THAT" FOR ... ? ... "WHAT" BUSINESS WAS THAT OF ... " H I S " ... ? ... "WHAT" DOES IT MATTER ... ? ... "WHO" YOU GAVE MONEY TO ... ? ... IT WASN'T ... ? " H I S " ... MONEY ... ???!! ... WAS IT ... !!???". " ... HE SAW IT ... ? AS A SIGN OF ... ... " D I S - LOYALTY " ... !!! ... HE SAYS THAT I'M ... ? S T I L L ... ? ... IN L O V E ... ? WITH YOU ... !!!! ". " ...WELL ... ? A R E , YOU ... ? ... ARE YOU ... ? S T I L L ... ? ... IN LOVE ... ? WITH , " M E "... ?????!!!". ... MOMENTARY SILENCE ... THEN ... ? A SCOWL ... " ...IF I'M ... ? S T I L L ... ? IN LOVE ... ? ... WITH YOU ... ? ... WHAT AM I DOING SITTING ON ... " T H I S " ... ? ... SIDE OF THE TABLE ... ? ... AND YOU ' RE SITTING OVER ... " T H E R E " ... ? ... AT THE OTHER SIDE OF THE TABLE ... ????!!!! ... WE'RE N O T ... ? " D O I N G - I T " ... ? ... ARE WE ... ????!!! " . " ... WELL ...? IT SEEEEMS TO ME ... ? ... THAT SOME - ONE AS "SHALLOW" ... ? ... AS OLE " RALPHIE - BOY " ... COMES OFF ... ? ... (AT LEAST ) , TO ... ? M E ... ??? ... WAS ONLY LOOKING FOR ... ... SOME VERY , VERY CONVENIENT ... " E X C U S E " ... ? ... TO DUMP YOU , OVER ... !!! ... DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT HE WAS JUST ... ... A BIG OLE "MAMA 'S BOY " ... ? ... STILL LIVING WITH HIS MOMMY AND DADDY ... ? ... IN HIS PARENTS' HOUSE ... ... OUT IN THE SWAMPS OF SECAUCUS , NEW JERSEY ... ? ... SCARED SHIT - LESS OF THE BIG ... " C " - WORD ... ? ... AS IN ... ? " C O M M I T M E N T " ... !!!??? ... AND HAD ALL THOSE ... ? " I S S U E S " ... ? ... ABOUT GETTING ... M A R R I E D ... !!!??? ... FURTHER - MORE ... ? ... I SEEM TO REMEMBER ... ? ... THAT YOU PHONED ... ? " M E "... ? ... AFTER THE WORLD TRADE CENTER ATTACK ... ? ... ' CAUSE " RALPHIE - BOY " ... ? ... DIDN'T WANNA "HEAR" IT ... ? ... AND BACKED - OFF FROM "YOU" ... ? ... AFTER THE DISASTER ... ? ... ' CAUSE HE JUST COULDN'T "HANDLE" IT ... ? ... AND YOU WERE " BOO- HOO - HOO - ING " ... ? ... TO ... ? " M E " ... ???!!! ... ABOUT HOW THAT ... ? " THE WORLD'S ... ... LARGEST , MOST COMPREHENSIVE ... ... INSURANCE LIBRARY ... IN EXISTENCE "... ? ... HAD JUST BEEN DESTROYED ... ? ... IN A MATTER OF A FEW SECONDS ... ? ... BY A JET - FUEL FIRE - BALL ... !!!! ... AND ... ? THAT ALL YOUR PRECIOUS YEARS ...? ... OF INFORMATION COLLECTION , RESEARCH , ... AND CATEGORIZATION ... ? ... WAS NOW ... ? G O N E ... !!! FOR - EVER ... !!! ... " IT'S ALL ... G O N E ... !!! G O N E ... !!! ... G O N E ... !!!". ... AND YOU ... ? WERE CRYING YOUR LITTLE EYES OUT ... ... ON M Y SHOULDER ... ? ... INSTEAD OF CRYING ON THAT SHALLOW LITTLE ... ... ASS - HOLE ... " RALPHIE'S" ... ? ... SHOULDER ... ????!!! ... ' CAUSE ... " RALPHIE " ... ? ... WAS NEVER AVAILABLE , THERE , "EMOTIONALLY" ... ? ... FOR "YOU" ... !!!?? ". " ...I DON'T REMEMBER "THAT" ... !!! ... I D O REMEMBER PHONING YOU UP ... ... TO COME AND GET ME ... ? ... AND ... ?I D O REMEMBER ... ... THAT YOU TOOK A VERY LEISURELY ... ? ... T H R E E - H O U R ... SHOWER ... !!! ... F I R S T ... !!!!". " ... WOMEN ... ? ... SEEM TO HAVE SUCH A LOVELY CONVENIENT MEMORY ... ... WHEN IT SUITS ... ... THEM ... !!! ... IF ONLY , I HAD SAVED THOSE TAPES ... ... ON MY TELEPHONE ANSWERING MACHINE ... ... WHERE YOU POURED-OUT YOUR LITTLE ACHING , ... MISERABLE HEART TO ... " M E " ...!!! ... N O T ... " R A L P H I E " ... !!! ... TEAR - FULLY RE - COUNTING THE "TRAGEDY" ... ... HOW MANY FRIENDS ... ... AND CO - WORKERS YOU HAD LOST ... !!! ... AND ABOUT HOW MEANING - LESS ... ... THE WORLD ... LIFE , IN GENERAL ... ... AND ... ? YOUR LIFE , IN THE PARTICULAR , ... HAD BECOME ... !!! ... IN THE FACE OF SUCH ENORMITY OF HUMAN SUFFERING , ... DEATH , AND DESTRUCTION ...!" " ... I DON'T REMEMBER " A N Y " OF THAT ... !!!". " ... NO ... YOU WOULDN'T ... !!! ... Y'KNOW ... ? ... YOU NEVER LET ME GET AWAY WITH ... ? ... H A L F THE " SHIT " ... ? ... YOU LET "RALPHIE" GET AWAY WITH ... !!! ... YEAH , AND I KNOW , " W E " ... WERE MARRIED ... .... WHICH MAKES A L L THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD ...? ... TO ... ? " Y O U " ... !!! ... BUT IT'S THE SAME THING ... ... IN MY BOOK ... !!! ... AS "THEY" SAID ... BACK IN THE SEVENTIES ... ? ... A "PIECE OF PAPER" ... ? ... DOESN'T MAKE US MARRIED ...!!! ... A FIVE - AND - A - HALF YEAR RELATIONSHIP ... ? ... MAKES YOU MARRIED ... !!! AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED ...! ... AND IF YOU WOULDN'T LET " M E " ... ? ... GET AWAY WITH THAT SORTA S H I T ... ? ... YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE LET "RALPHIE" ... PULL THAT "CRAP" ... ON YOU , EITHER ... !!!".

" LOVE'S LABOURS LOST "ACT I SCENE i

2007-09-02T17:12:00.001-07:00

" ... I WANT YOU TO TAKE TWENTY DOLLARS ... ? ... GO TO THE " K - M A R T " ... ? IN PENN STATION ... ? ... BUY THE CHEAPEST TENNIS RACQUET YOU CAN FIND ...? ( ... IT OUGHTTA BE ABOUT FOURTEEN BUCKS ) ... ... BUY A CAN OF THREE NEW TENNIS BALLS ... ? ... THEN MEET ME AT TEN O ' CLOCK , TONIGHT ... ? ... AT THE MID - TOWN TENNIS CLUB ... !!! ... " Y O U " ... ? ARE GONNA BE MY N E W ... ? "TENNIS PARTNER " ... !! ... I JUST STARTED TAKING TENNIS LESSONS ... FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE ... !!! ... I NEED SOME - ONE TO PRACTICE WITH ... !!! ... I CAN'T SEEM TO FIND ANY - ONE ... ? WHO WANTS TO PLAY TENNIS WITH ME ... !!!! ... I EVEN CHECKED - OUT ... ? " C R A I G ' S - L I S T " ... ? ... LOOKING FOR TENNIS PARTNERS ... ? ... BUT ... ? ... EVERY - ONE OF THEM ... ? WHO POSTED ON " CRAIG'S LIST " ... ? ... SEEMED TO BE .... ? ... AN " EXPERT " ... THEY'RE LIKE ... " I'M A ..."3.5" !!! " ... " I'M A ... " 4 " !!! " ... " I'M A ... " 4.5 " !!!" ... " I'M A ... " 5 " !!!" ... ... THESE GUYS ... ? WOULD ... "KILL" ME ... ON THE COURT ... !!! ... NO - ONE WANTS TO PLAY A ... " BEGINNER " ... ? LIKE ... ? M E ... !!! ... SO ... ? " T H A T ' S " ... ???!! WHY I GOTTA PLAY ... ? " Y O U " ... !!!!". " ... I ' VE ... ? N E V E R PLAYED .... " TENNIS" ... ? IN MY LIFE ... !!!! ... I'VE ... ? N E V E R EVEN PICKED UP A TENNIS RACQUET .... ? ... IN MY ENTIRE LIFE ... !!!". " ... THAT'S ... ? PER FECT ... !!!! THAT WAY ... ? EVEN I ... ? ... CAN EASILY BEAT YOU ... !!!". " ...AND ... ? BESIDES ... ? HOW DO YOU ... K N O W ... ? ... THAT ALL THESE GUYS ... ? ... THESE POTENTIAL TENNIS PARTNERS ... ? ... ARE TELLING YOU ... ? THE TRUTH ... ? ABOUT THEIR TENNIS EXPERTISE ... ? ... LIKE GUYS LYING ABOUT THEIR ... " P E N I S " - SIZE ... ???!!! " ... OH YEAH , "BABY" ... !!! I'M "PACKIN' " NINE - AND - A HALF INCHES .... ... OF " MAN - MEAT " ... !!!" , " ...OH , YEAH ... ???!! WELL I GOT ABOUT ... " T E N " ... INCHES ... ... RIDIN' IN MY CROTCH ... !!!", ... THEY A L L LIE ... !!!!". ... MAYBE ... ? THEY'RE JUST ... ? L Y I N G ... ABOUT THEIR ABILITY LEVEL ... ? ". " ... I FIND IT VERY ... ? " THERAPEUTIC " ...!!! ... WHACKING A TENNIS - BALL WITH A RACQUET ... ? ... ALL I HAVE TO DO ... ? IS VISUALIZE ... ? THAT THE TENNIS BALL .. ? ... IS MY BOSS' H E A D ... !!! ... IT'S BETTER , AND CHEAPER THAN PAYING ... ? FOR A PSYCHO -THERAPIST ... !!! ... I CAN GET ALL OF MY AGGRESSION OUT ... THAT WAY ... !!!". ... WELL ... ? IT FIGURES ... ... "VALERIE" ... ? NEEDS TO HUMILATE SOME - ONE ... ANY -ONE ... ... EVEN IF THAT ... ? HAPPENS TO BE ... " M E " ... ???!!!! ... HER UN - EMPLOYED , UN - EMPLOY - ABLE , SHIFT - LESS , LAZY , ... " N E ' E R - D O - W E L L " ... MIDDLE - AGED "SLACKER" ... ... OF AN " E X " - HUSBAND ... !!! ... AFTER SUFFERING THE SEEMINGLY END - LESS HUMILIATIONS ... ALL DAY LONG ... ... AT THE HANDS OF ...? ... DOMINANT AGGRESIVE BOSSES ... ... DOMINANT AGGRESIVE BOY - FRIENDS .... ... AND ... ? HER DOMINEERING , AGGRESSIVE M O T H E R ... !!! ( MY ... ? " E X " - MOTHER - IN - LAW ... !!!!). " ...IF YOU BE ME TENNIS PARTNER , TONIGHT ... ? ... AND LET ME W I N ... ? ... I'LL PAY A L L YOUR BACK , UN - PAID MAINTANENCE BILLS ... ? ... AND THE LATE FEES ... ? ON YOUR CO - OP APPARTMENT FOR YOU ... !!!". " ...AND A L L ... ? I HAVE TO DO ... ? IS ... ? L O S E ... ? ". ... IT WAS THE EASIEST FIFTEEN HUNDRED DOLLARS ... ? I E V E R MADE ... !!!

" ... Y ' ...

2007-08-25T20:46:00.001-07:00

" ... Y ' KNOW ... DOCTOR MCQUEEN ... ? ... HOW ... " T H E Y " ... ? SAY THAT THE AVERAGE MAN' S PENIS SIZE ... ? ... IS S I X - I N C H E S ... ???!!! ... WELL , QUITE FRANKLY ... ? DOCTOR MCQUEEN ... ? MOST MEN ... JUST SIMPLY ... ? ... DO NOT MEASURE - UP ... !!! ( ...YEAH ... I KNOW ... !!! "PICKY , PICKY , PICKY ... !!! DOCTOR MCQUEEN ... !!!). ... RECENTLY , I WAS " DOING - IT " ... ? WITH "B I G M I K E " ... ? ... I , VERY POLITELY , ASKED HIM IF I COULD MEASURE HIS ... " DICK - SIZE " ... !!! ... BECAUSE ... ? I SIMPLY HAD TO KNOW ... !!! ... SO I WHIPPED - OUT A RULER ... RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING ... ? ... AND ... ? IT TURNED OUT ... ? ... THAT ... ? "BIG MIKE " .... ?

"DUMBO"

2007-08-24T17:09:00.001-07:00

" ... I MET - UP ... WITH ... " A N A "... ... AT HER NEWEST , LATEST REFUGE ... IN DUMBO ... BY THE EAST RIVER ... ... WHERE WE HAD ENGAGED IN OUR ... F I R S T ... SEXUAL ENCOUNTER ...!!! ... BACK IN DECEMBER ... OF ... 2 0 0 3 ... ... WE RE-HEARSED THE " L U C I F E R " PIECE ... ... FOR PERFORMANCE AT THE TRIBES GALLERY ... ... THE NEXT DAY ... ... AT THE ..." E I G H T - M I L L I O N - S T O R I E S " ... SERIES ... ... HOSTED BY ROXANNE HOFFMAN ... ... I GAVE HER AN OFFER ... ? ... SHE COULDN'T REFUSE ... !!! " ... IT SEEMS ... ? ... AS THOUGH ... ? ... ROXANNE HOFFMAN ... ? ... ORIGINALLY ... ? ... LEFT ME ... OFF ... "THE BILL" ... ? ... FOR THE "GATHERING OF THE TRIBES" GALLERY ... FUND - RAISING BENEFIT ... ... AT THE NOTORIOUS ... " C O R N E L I A - S T R E E T CAFE ' " ... ... ON MONDAY EVENING , OCTOBER 9 TH ... ? ... HOSTED BY ... "CHAVISA WOODS" ... !!!! ... ME ... ? AND " ROXANNE HOFFMAN " ... ? ... HAD US A LITTLE ... ? ... " FACE - TO - FACE " ... MEETING ... ? ... AT THE POETRY OPEN - MIKE ... ... SHE CO - HOSTS ON SUNDAY AFTER-NOONS ... AT THE "BACK FENCE" ... ... ON BLEECKER ... AND THOMPSON STREET ... IN THE WEST VILLAGE ... ... WITH AGING VETERAN "BEAT" POETESS... BRIGID MURNIGHAN ... ... FIRST ...? ... I'M CON - FIRMED ... ? ... AS A READER FOR THE ... "EIGHT MILLION STORIES" SERIES ... THIS WEDNESDAY ... ... GOOD NEWS ... !!! ... SHE ALSO SEZ ... ? ... I'M A READER AT THE "CORNELIA STREET BENEFIT" ... FOR " TRIBES " ... ... NEXT MONDAY ... ... I ASKED HER ... ? " ... HOW MANY MINUTES ... ? " T H R E E " ... ?", ... SHE ANSWERED ... ? " ... OH ... ? E I G H T ... !!!!". ... WHICH GOT ME TO THINKING ... ? ... IF IT IS ... ? E I G H T MINUTES ... ? ... I B E T ... ? WE COULD DO THE "L U C I F E R " PIECE , THERE , TOOOOO ... !!!! ... ESPECIALLY ... ? ... IF WE CUT THE SONG ... " JUST A GIGOLO " / " I AIN'T GOT NO - BODY " ... ? ... FROM THE ACT ... !!!! ... WHATTAYA THINK ... ? ". ... W I T H - O U T HESITATION : " ... I'LL DO IT ... !!!! ... AND IF I WANT TO SHOW MY ... " T I T S "... ???!!!! ... I ' LL ... S H O W ... MY ... " T I T S " ... !!!". ... APPLAUSE , APPLAUSE ... !!! " ... AND I DIDN'T EVEN PERFORM , YET ... !!!". ... THOSE GUYS ... ? THAT BANNED US ... ? FROM THE CAFE'... ? ... BACK IN FEBRUARY OF 2 0 0 4 ... ? ... WILL BE THERE ... !!! ... ANGELO VERGA ... THE CURATOR ... ... AND ROBIN HIRSCH ... THE MANAGER/ARCHIVIST ... !!!" ... OH ... ? AND UN - FORTUNATELY , " A N A " ...? ... I'M ... A L L ... OUT OF MONEY ... !!! ... I CAN'T PAY YOU FOR THIS PROPOSED GIG ... ? THAT WE'RE DOING MONDAY ... ... AT CORNELIA STREET ... ? ... BUT I COULD O W E ... ? IT TO YOU ... ? ". " ... I WILL DO " I T " ... ? ... FOR ... " N O T H I N G " ... !!! ". ... " T H A T ' S " MY GIRL ... !!! ... I COULD FINALLY SEE THE OLD " F I R E " ... IN HER EYES , HER FACE ... ... HER S O U L ... AND HEAR THE EXCITEMENT IN HER VOICE ... !!! ... I FELT THAT SAME EXCITEMENT ... YEARS AGO ... ... BACK AT " SAINT MARKS IN THE BOWERY " ... " THE BOWERY POETRY CLUB " ... ... THE "BROOKLYN LYCEUM " ... AND " CORNELIA STREET CAFE ' " ... ... BACK IN THE WINTER / SPRING OF 2 0 0 4 ... ... BACK WHEN WE WERE S T I L L LOVERS ... !!! ... THE " J U I C E S " WERE FLOWING THAT MONDAY EVENING ... ... IN THE WEST VILLAGE ... ... OF ALL PEOPLE ... ? ... " ROBIN HIRSCH " ... ? THE CAFE 'S PROPRIETOR ... ? ... WAS SITTING OUT - SIDE ... ON THE SIDE WALK ... ? ... AT A TABLE ... SIPPING A FINE FRENCH AGED MERLOT ... ... WITH HIS CRONIES ... ... " T H I S " ... ? IS GONNA BE G O O D ... !!! ... I'M WELL ON MY WAY TO A " S E C O N D " ... ... BANNING FROM THE CORNELIA STREET CAFE' ... !!! ... ROXANNE HOFMAN ... IS ALREADY DOWN - STAIRS ... ... I ASKED HER ... THE PREVIOUS WEDNESDAY ... ... AT THE " TRIBES GALLERY " ... OCTOBER EDITION OF ... ... " EIGHT MILLION STORIES " ... ... IF I COULD "RE - PRISE" ... ? THE " RUBY'S CAFE'" ... ... ON THE BOARDWALK OF ... ... "CONEY ISLAND , BROOKLYN , U . S . A . " ... PIECE ... ? ... AND SHE AGREED ... !!! ... CHAVISA WOODS ... THE HOSTESS ... ? ... IS ALSO DOWNSTAIRS ...? ... SO I ASK HER HOW MANY MINUTES ... ? ... I'M EN - TITLED TO ... " ... EIGHT ... NINE ... DON'T GO TOOOO LONG ... !!! ... DON'T WORRY ... !!! ... "STEVEN DALACHINSKY" ... ? WILL GO ON FOR FIFTEEN , TWENTY MINUTES ... ???!! ... IF I DON'T STOP HIM ... !!! ".". " ... OKAY , " A N A " ... WE'RE IN ... !!!". ... NOW ... ? WE'VE ALREADY CUT THE ... ... " I AIN'T GOT NO - BODY " ... HALF OF THE SONG ROUTINE ... ... FROM THE ... " JUST A GIGOLO " ... MEDLEY ... ? ... SO WE SHOULD ALREADY BE WELL UNDER TEN MINUTES ... ... THAT THE SKETCH ... USUALLY RUNS ... ... WE'RE PERFORMING ... IN THE SECOND HALF ... ... OF THE EVENING'S ENTERTAINMENT ... ? ... SO WE HAVE TO LISTEN TO DOWN - TOWN POET ... ... STEVEN DALICHINSKY ... ? DRONE - ON FOR HIS ...? ... NINE MINUTES ... AND MORE ... !!! ... CHAVISA ... ? HAS TO CHASE HIM OFF - STAGE ... ... OR HE'LL GO - ON FOR A HALF - HOUR ... !!! ... WHAT A STAGE - WHORE ... !!!! ... FINALLY ... ? IT'S OUR TURN ON STAGE ... ... " A N A " ... ? ... HAS A SHIT - LOAD OF PROPS WITH HER ... ... FOR THE DIALOGUE ... ... SO ... ? IT TAKES HER A COUPLE OF MINUTES ... ... TO SET - UP ... ON THE STAGE ... ... THEN I HEAR IT , FOR THE FIRST TIME ... ... FROM THE AUDIENCE ... ... " MURMERING "... " WHISPERING " .. ... "HECKLING" ... "CAT - CALLING" ... ... I IDENTIFY THE UN - MISTAKE - ABLE VOICE ... ... OF TIMES SQUARE POET ... EVE PACKER ... !!! " ... THEY'RE TAKING ... TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LONG ... !!! ... SOME - BODY ELSE OUGHTTA READ ... ... WHILE THEY'RE STILL SETTING - UP ... !!!". ... PROPS WERE FINALLY ARRANGED ON STAGE ... ? ... AND WE STARTED ... ... A NEAR FLAW - LESS PERFORMANCE ... !!!( ... A N A ... ? IS ALL - WAYS ... ? ... STILL , EVER ... THE CONSUMMATE PERFORMER !!!). ... ANTICIPATION ... ? RAN HIGH ... !!! ... ESPECIALLY AMOUNG .... ? ... THE STAFF MEMBERS OF THE CAFE ' ... !!! ... WHO CROWDED ... TENSELY ... ... IN THE REAR OF THE DOWN - STAIRS ... ... PERFORMANCE SPACE ... !!! ... WOULD ... ? A N A ... ? FLASH HER ... " T I T S " ...? ... AT THE AUDIENCE ... ? ... IN DEFIANCE OF THE PREVIOUS YEAR'S BANISHMENT ... ? ... BY ROBIN HIRSCH ... ? ( ...THE SELF - STYLED CHAMPION OF "FREE - SPEECH" ...? ... AND THE OPPONENT OF ALL FORMS OF CENSORSHIP... ??? !!!). ... FOR THE CRIME OF "INDECENT EXPOSURE" ... ??? !!!! ... IN THE IMMORTAL WORDS OF ... THE LATE GREAT , STAND - UP COMIC ... ? ... "LENNY BRUCE" ... ? " ... IT SEEMS AS THOUGH ... ? ... I'M UNDER A LOT OF PRESSURE TO COOL MY ACT ... ???? !!!". ... SO HERE GOES NUTHIN ' ... !!! ... IT'S THE B I G " PUNCH - LINE " OF THE SKETCH ...!!! " THE BIG FINISH "... ... THE " GRANDE FINALE' " ... " ... HEY ... ???!!! "L U C I F E R " ... ???!!! ... "SHOW ME YOUR TITS !!!"... !!!". ... THE ... ? " M O M E N T - O F - T R U T H " ... !!! ( ... AND I GOTS MY POLAROID CAMERA READY ... AND FOCUSED FOR ACTION ... !!!!). " ... S U R E ... !!! ... WHEN YOU GOT A ... " R A C K " ... LIKE MINE ... !!!??? ... YOU DON'T MIND SHOWING THEM OFF ... !!!! ... I'M ... D A M N ... PROUD OF THEM ... !!! HERE ... !!!". ... AND WITH - OUT A MOMENT'S HESITATION ... ? ... " A N A " ... LIFTED UP HER LACY , BLACK , SEMI - SHEER HALTER - TOP ... ... AND FLASHED HER ... " T I T S " ... !!! AT THE ANTICIPATORY AUDIENCE ... !!!! ... PANTING FOR SOME SKIN EXPOSURE ... !!! ... THEY BROKE INTO A SPONTANEOUS APPLAUSE OF GRATITUDE ... !!! ( ... " A N A " ... ? ... THEN COVERED HER EX - POSED BREASTS WITH A ALUMINUM WIRE " DISH - RACK " ... ... FOR IRONY'S SAKE ... !!!). ... WE'RE BACK ... !!! ... ME ... AND A N A ... TOGETHER , AGAIN ... !!! " ... THE CYLINDERS ARE CLICKIN' , MISTER ... !!! I CAN FEEL IT ... !!!". ... APPLAUSE !!! APPLAUSE !!! APPLAUSE !!! ... A THEATRICAL TRIUMPHANT CLIMAX ... !!! ... AND ... ? AFTER - WARDS ... ? ... AS WE'RE COLLECTING THE VARIOUS PROPS , ETC . , FROM OFF OF THE STAGE ... ? ... " E V E P A C K E R " ... ? ... APPROACHES US ... AT THE FIRST TABLE ... WHERE ME AND A N A ... ARE SEATED ... ... AND CONFRONTS US ... !!! ... BLOOD SPURTING FROM HER EYE - BALLS ... ? ... LIKE THE DEADLY , REPTILIAN ... BASILISK ... !!! " ... " B I G - M I K E " ... !!! ... IF NO - BODY ELSE ... ? ... IS GONNA READ YOU ... ? ... " T H E - R I O T - A C T " ...???!!! ... I WILL ... !!! ". ... EVE PACKER ... ? THEN PROCEEDED TO RIP THE TWO OF US ... ? ... TWO NEW ASS - HOLES ... E A C H ... !!! " ... Y'KNOW ... ? " B I G - M I K E "... ???!!! ... THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A "BENEFIT" ... !!!! ... A BENEFIT ... ? FOR ... ? "TRIBES" ... !!! ... A TEAM EFFORT ... !!! ... NO "INDIVIDUALS" ... !!!! ... NO "EGOS" ... !!! ... A TEAM EFFORT FOR " TRIBES "... !!! ... THE " TEAM " ... ? IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN A N Y INDIVIDUAL POET ... !!!! ... BUTT ... ? YOU'RE JUST ... N O T ... A TEAM - PLAYER , BIG MIKE ... !!!! ... AND YOU TOOK TOOOOOOO LONG ... !!! ... YOU WERE UP THERE ON STAGE ... ???!!! ... FOR ABOUT ... ? F I F T E E E N MINUTES ... !!! AT LEAST ... !!! ... WE WERE ... A L L ... TOLD ... AHEAD OF TIME ... ... ONE ... "THREE MINUTE PIECE" ... !!!! ... " T H R E E - M I N U T E S "... !!!! " B I G - M I K E " ... !!! ... AND ..? " Y O U " .. ???!! TOOK ABOUT A HALF - HOUR ... !!! ". ... A G A I N ... !!!!???? ... WITH THIS ... " T E A M - W O R K " ... BULL - SHIT ... !!!!???? ... LIKE "RICH WEST" ... AT THE THEATRE FOR THE NEW CITY ... BULL - SHIT ... !!! ... AND ME AND VALMOTE SPROUT ... ... GETTING BANNED FROM THE LOWER EAST SIDE FESTIVAL OF THE ARTS ... !!!! ... FOR PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF PARTIAL NUDITY ... ... OUT ON THE STAGE ON EAST TENTH STREET ... ... BACK ON MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND , 2 0 0 5 ... !!! ... " T E A M - W O R K " ... !!!??? I GOT THAT SAME SPEECH FROM RICH WEST ... !!! ... ARE WE ARTISTS ... ??? OR STARBUCKS EMPLOYEES ... ??? !!! ... A N A ... ? IS VAGUELY AMUSED ... SHE SMILES ... GRINNING FAINTLY... ... LIKE A BLEACH -BLONDE DUTCH CHESHIRE CAT ... ... THE DIVA ... ? AS ALL - WAYS ... ? ENIGMATIC AS THE GREAT SPHYNX OF GIZA ... ... BUT ... ? I CAN TELL ... ? EVEN UNDER THE MASK OF FAINT BEMUSEMENT ... ? ... SHE IS ... ? ABSOLUTELY ... PREPARED TO GO ON THE OFFENSIVE ... !!! ... I'M ... ? FOR JUST LETTING IT ... "SLIDE" ... ... YET , ANOTHER OFFENDED AUDIENCE MEMBER ... ... HOWEVER ... ? A N A ... ? THE CONSUMMATE PERFORMER ... WHO HAS JUST ... ? ... PUT ON ... ? STILL ONE MORE ... " DYN - O - MITE " ... PERFORMANCE ... ? ... IS ... ? N O T ... ABOUT TO LET THIS ... ? ... FIVE FOOT TALL SUN - DRIED OLD PLATINUM BLEACH - BLONDE SENIOR CITIZEN ... ? ... HAVE THE LAST WORD ON THE SUBJECT ... !!! " ... SO .. ? IT'S ALL - BOUT TIME ... ? "THREE MINUTES" ... AND THIS ... ? ... " TEAM - WORK " ... ? THAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT ... ? ... AND I THOUGHT ... ? IT WAS A L L ABOUT THE "WORK" ... THE "TIME" .... ... THAT THE PERFORMER PUT INTO THE PERFORMANCE ... ? THE ARTIST ... ? ... AND THE ARTISTRY ... ? THE CREATIVE PROCESS ... ? ". " ... N O ... I T ' S ... N O T ... !!! ... IT'S A L L ABOUT NOT GOING OVER - TIME ... TEAM - WORK ... !!!! ... AND RESPECTING YOPUR FELLOW ARTISTS ... !!!! ". " ... ROXANNE ... SAID EIGHT MINUTES ... SHE SAW THIS ACT LAST WEDNESDAY ... ... AT "TRIBES" ... ... I ASKED HER BACK HER , BACK THEN ... ? IF IT WAS ALL RIGHT TO PERFORM IT ...? ... HERE ... ? SHE SAID YES ... !!! ... SHE SAID , " ... ARE WE GOING TO SEE A REPRISE ... ? OF THIS LITTLE ACT ... ? ... NEXT MONDAY , AT TRIBES ... ? ", ... AND I SAID , YES ... !!! ... I EVEN ASKED "CHAVISA" ... ? BEFORE WE GOT UP THERE ... ? ... AND SHE SAID , " TAKE EIGHT OR NINE MINUTES , DON'T WORRY ...!!!" , " ... WELL ... ???!! " T H A T ' S " N O T WHAT I WAS TOLD ... !!!". ... AND THE DIMNUTIVE SCREECHING POETESS ... STAMPED HER FEET LIKE AN ANGRY OLD ... ... LADY " R U M P L E - S T I L T - S K I N " ... ... AND STORMED OUT OF THE DOWN - STAIRS PERFDORMANCE SPACE ... !!! ... "CHAVISA" ... WAS STILL HANGING OUT DOWN STAIRS ... ... I ASKED HER TO POSE FOR A POLAROID ... " ...IF YOU GIVE ME ONE ... OF MY STOMACHE ... " . " ... OKAY ... ". ( ...EVEN THOUGH ... " "CHABISA" ... ? IS A FEMALE TO MALE TRANSNGENDERIST ... ? ... WHO PRFERS TO BE CALLED .. " C H A Z " ... ? ... SHE STILL DISPLAYS VERY FEMININE BODY - IMAGE ISSUES ... EVEN TO THE EXYTREME ... POINT OF "SELF - MUTILATION" ... !!! ... WHICH SHE HAS READILY DISPLAYED ON - STAGE .. !!! ... AT THE "MISTER L E S PAGEANT " OCTOBER 2 0 0 4 ... !!! ... IN THE "TALENT" COMPETITION ... !!! ... CHAVISA THINKS HER BIG FAT GUT .... ? ... STICKS OUT TOO FAR ... ... AND IS EMBARRASSED BY HER BEER BELLY ... !!! ). ... CHAVISA , NEXT , LIFTED HER BLOUSE ... AND BLACK LACY BRA ... ... IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DINING ROOM ... OF THE CAFE ' ... ? ... EXPOSING HER MAMMARIES ... ... SHE THEN ALLOWED ME TO PHOTOGRAPH HER SIVER - RING PIERCED NIPPLES ... !!! ... SHE NICK - NAMES HER BREASTS ... " B E T T Y " ... AND ... ... " V E R O N I C A " ... !!! LEFT .... AND RIGHT ... !!! ... THE BAR - TENDERS / WAIT STAFF ... ? ... TRY TO CLEAR THE ROOM OF POETS ... FOR THE JAZZ ENSEMBLE ... ... WHICH IS TO FOLOW THE "TRIBES" BENEFIT POETRY READING ... ... THE DOUUBLE - BASSIST ( FE - MALE ) COMMENTS ... !!! " ... WELL ... ? WE' RE TRYING TO CLEAR THE ROOOM ... ... BUT THE POETS ... AND P O R N O G R A H E R S ... ????!!! ... ARE STILL HERE .. !!! ". ... AND WEEKS LATER ... ? ... " A N A " ... ? ... HAD RETURNED TO HER NATIVE " AMSTERDAM " ... ... ONCE AGAIN ...? ... LEAVING ME ... ? ... ALONE , " BE - REFT " ... AND LONELY ... ... ONCE AGAIN ... !!! ... I RETURNED TO THE " SCENE OF THE CRIME " ... ... THE " CORNELIA STREET CAFE ' " ... ... IN THE WEST VILLAGE ... ... HOPING TO PERFORM AT THE WEEKLY ... ... " PINK - PONY : WEST " ... ... READING SERIES ... ... HOSTED BY LESBIAN POETESS ... " JACKIE SHEELER " ... ... I HEADED DOWN - STAIRS ... ... TO THE PERFORMANCE VENUE ... ... IN THE BASE - MENT ... ... " ARCHIVIST " ... ? " ROBIN HIRSCH " ... ? ... WAS PRINTING - UP ... ? ... THE EVENING'S ENTERTAINMENT MENU ... ? ... ON A DRY - MARKER BOARD ... ... WHEN I ACCIDENTALLY JOSTLED HIS ARM ... ... WHILE ENTERING THE BASE - MENT THEATRE ... " ...OH , EXCUSE ME , SIR ... !!! " . ... I APOLOGIZED ... " ...I DIDN'T MEAN TO ... ? ... " B O T H E R " ... YOU ... !!! ". ... THE " EMINENCE GRIS " ... ? ... TURNED TOWARDS ME ... ? ... HANDS ON HIPS ... ? ... IN FRUSTRATION ... ... AND IN HIS MOST FAY , BITCHY VOICE ANSWERED ... " ... AND , HERE ...? ... I T H O U GH T ... ? IT WAS YOUR ... " J O B " ... !!! ... TO " B O T H E R " ... " M E " ... !!!??? " . ... " T O C H E ' " ... !!!! " .

"SUR - REAL"

2007-08-11T06:12:00.001-07:00

"..." T H I S " ... ????!!!! ..." A L L " ... !!!!??? ... LOOKS ... ? SO ... ? " S U R - R E A L "... !!!' ... THE SKY ... ? THE SEA ... ? THE SAND ... ? ... IT RE-MINDS ME SO MUCH ... ? OF ENGLAND ... !!!' " ... BRIGHTON , ENGLAND ... ?" " ... EXACTLY ... !!! " " ... WELL , CONEY , ISLAND ... ? ... W A S ... DE-SIGNED AFTER THE SEA - SIDE RE-SORTS OF ENGLAND ... ? ... SUCH AS ... "BRIGHTON" ... ... A MIDDLE - CLASS ... "WORKING - CLASS" SPA ... ... AN ALTERNATIVE TO THE ARISTOCRATIC ... PATRICIAN ... RESORTS ... ... OF SAY ... ? " BADEN - BADEN "... ... OR " SAN TROPEZ " ... "BAD EMS " ... " ( ... SHE HAD ... ? ... FLED HER NATIVE HOLLAND ... TWENTY YEARS AGO ... ? ... ESCAPING ... ? AN ABUSIVE ... PHILANDERING HUSBAND ... ... TAKING HER " TWO BABIES " ... WITH HER ... ... AND SETTLING IN ENGLAND ... ... NOW ... ? TWO DECADES LATER ... ? ... ON SURF AVENUE ... AND STILLWELL AVENUE ... ... IN BROOKLYN , U . S . A . ... ... EMERGING FROM THE ORNATE , NEWLY - RE - NOVATED ... ... " F " IND LINE TERMINAL ... ? ... SHE WAS HAVING A ... ? " FLASH - BACK " ... ... TO HAPPIER , EARLIER ... DAYS ... ). " ... I HAVE TO GO TO THE ... " LOO " ... " ( ... HOW VERY , VERY ... EUROPEAN ... !!!). " ... " RUBY ' S "... ? ON THE BOARD - WALK ... ? ... SHOULD HAVE A ... " LADIES' ROOM " ... ". " ... " RUBY ' S " ... ? " . " ... YEAH ... !!! JUST ... ? ... LIKE IN THE " STORY " ... !!!!??? ... " THE AFTER - PARTY ... ... FOR THE 2 0 0 6 MERMAID PARADE ... " !!! " . " ... OH ... !!! ... YOU MEAN LIKE IN THE PERFORMANCE PIECE ... !!! ... " RUBY ' S " ... !!! ... I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND AT FIRST ... !!! ... " I T " ... ? A L L ... ? ... HAPPENED R I G H T ... HERE ... !!! ... OH SHIT ... !!! I DIDN'T MAKE THAT CONNECTION ... ... RIGHT AWAY ... !!! ... " T H I S " ... I S ... ? ... C O N E Y - I S L A N D ... !!! ... HOW ... ? " S U R - R E A L " ... !!! ' . " ... L I F E ... ? IMITATES ... A R T ... !!!!???". ( ..." A N A " ... ? ... WAS ... ? ... THE " DA - DA / SURREALIST CABARET ... ... PERFORMANCE - ARTIST"). ... THE SEA - SIDE RESORT ... ? ... WAS DESOLATE ... ABANDONNED ... ... IT WAS THE LAST DAY OF SEPTEMBER .... SUMMER ... ? ... IS OVER ... ... BARKERS ... ? BARK AT US ... TRYING ... ? ... ONE LAST TIME ... ... TO GET SOME SUCKER ... ? TO SHOOT B.B. GUNS ... ... AT A RIFLE -RANGE ... ... THERE ARE NO TAKERS ... ... THE BARTENDER ... ? AT "RUBY'S" ... ... ON THE BOARD WALK ... ? ... IS ... ? ... JUST NOW - PULLING DOWN ... ... THE CORRUGATED STEEL SHUTTER ... ... TO CLOSE UP THE BAR & GRILLE ... !!! " ... LOOKS LIKE WE GOT HERE TOOO LATE ... !!! ... IT'S ALREADY , ALMOST SIX O'CLOCK ... !!! ... I GUESS ... ? WITH IT BEING THE "OFF - SEASON" ... ? ... THERE'S NO POINT IN KEEPIN' "THE PLACE" , OPEN ... ? ... AFTER SUN - DOWN ... !!!! ... WE ONLY GOT ABOUT AN HOUR ... ... OR SO OF LIGHT LEFT ... !!! ... WE'LL HAVE TO USE THE PUBLIC REST ROOMS ... ... AT THIS POINT ... ". ... THE NEW YORK CITY PARKS DEPT. FACILITIES ... ... ARE STILL OPEN ... ... IT'S ALREADY SUN - SET ... !!! ... AFTER SHE EMERGES ... " ... OKAY ... ? LOOK ... ? SO THIS IS OUR PLAN ... ? ... "TECHNICALLY" SPEAKING ... ? ... AS YOU CAN SEE BY THAT SIGN ON THE RAILING ... ... OF THE BOARD - WALK THERE ... ? ... DOWN BY THE SAND ... ? ... THERE IS N O SWIMMING PERMITTED , NOW ... !!! ... AT THIS TIME ... !!!! ... THE SEASON ... ? HAS BEEN OVER ... ... FOR F O U R WEEKS ... !!! ALREADTY ... !!! ... SINCE THE LABOUR DAY WEEK END ... ? ... SO ... ? THERE ARE N O LIFE - GUARDS ON DUTY ... !!! ... AND IT C O U L D BE DANGEROUS TO GO SWIMMING ... !!! ... I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ... !!!! ... I'M GONNA DIE , SOON , ANY - WAY ... !!! ... SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO GO SWIMMING ... !!! ... IT AIN'T FUN ... ? IF IT AIN'T DANGEROUS , ... R I G H T ... !!!??? ... AS LONG AS WE STEERE CLEAR OF THOSE TWO ... ... ROCK - STREWN JETTIES ... ? ... THERE ... ? AND THERE ... ? ... WE SHOULD BE O - KAY ... !!! ... THERE'S NO - BODY ON THE BEACH RIGHT NOW ... ? ... SO ... ? NO - BODY ... ... IS GONNA SAY ANY - THING ... ? ... IF WE GO SWIMMING ... !!! ... NOW ...? WE GOTTA KEEP AN EYE OUT ... ? ... FOR THE POLICE ... !!! ... IT'S "OFF - SEASON" ... ? ... SO THERE ISN'T MUCH OF A ... ? ... "POLICE - PRESENCE" ... ? ON THE BOARD - WALK ... !!!! ... I CAN SEE ... TWO COPS ... ... AT THE OTHER END OF SURF AVENUE ... ... IN A POLICE ... "GOLF - CART" VEHICLE ... !!! ... SO WE JUST HEAD DOWN TO THE WATER ... ? ... RIP OUR CLOTHES OFF ... ? ... JUMP INTO THE SURF ... ? BEFORE ANY - ONE ... ? ... SAYS ANY - THING ... !!! ... IF THE COPS ... ? D O SAY SOME - THING ... ? ... WE PLAY ... ? " S T O O P I D " ... ( "... GEE , OFFICER ... ? I DIDN 'T KNOW ... !!"). ... O K A Y ... ???!! " . " ... OKAY ... !!! " . ... WE DASH DOWN TO THE SEA S WATER - LINE ... ... STRIP OFF OUR CLOTHES ... ... A N A ... ? PEELS DOWN TO HER BLACK THONG PANTY ...( ... I TAKE POLAROIDS ... !!! ) . ... THE SUN ... ? ... HAS J U S T DIPPED BELOW THE HORIZON LINE ... ... IT IS TWI - LIGHT ... ... A BEAUTIFUL COBALT - BLUE SKY ... ... OVER CONEY ISLAND ... ... A N A ... ? JUMPED IN ... TOP - LESS ... ... I FOLLOWED ... ... DRESSED ONLY IN MY CHARCOAL - GREY HANES MENS ... ... BIKINI - BRIEF ... ... THE WATER ... ? WAS ... ? ... F U C K I N G ... FREEEEEEEEEEEZINGGGGGGGGGGGGG !!! ... BUT TOLERABLE ... !!! ... YOU GOT USED TO IT , AFTER A WHILE ... ... THE COLD SEA BREEZE ... ? WAS A LITTLE "STIFF" ... ... AND "FRIGID" ... ? ... BUT NOT TOO BAD ... ? AS LONG AS YOU STAYED UNDER ... ... THE COMPARATIVELY ... LUKE - WARM SEA - WATER ... ... IT W A S ... ? THE L A S T DAY OF SEPTEMBER ... !!! ... WE SCISSOR - KICKED OUT ... ? ... AS FAR AS THE END OF THE ROCK - STREWN JETTY ... ... THAT FRAMED THE BEACH ... AT ITS TIPS ... ... I EVEN SWAM OUT INTO THE WAVES ... ? ... TOTING MY POLAROID CAMERA OVER MY HEAD ... ... ABOVE THE BREAKERS ... ? ... TO PHOTOGRAPH ... ? A N A ... TREADING WATER ... ... OUT IN THE SURF ... !!! ... I CAUGHT A SHOT OF A N A ... ? ... DASHING OUT OF THE WAVES ... ? UP ON THE SAND ... ... RUNNING TOWARD THE WORLD - FAMOUS ... ... " C Y C L O N E " ... ROLLER COASTER ... ... OF CONEY ISLAND ... ... ON WEST 1 0 T H STREET ... AND SURF AVENUE ... ... ALL ABANDONNED ... FOR THE WINTER ... !!! ... A SHOT OF ... ? " THE END OF SUMMER " ... ... AFTERWARDS ... ? WE DRESSED ... ... AND HEADED FOR ... " NATHAN 'S FAMOUS " ... ... ON STILLWELL ... AND WEST 1 6 T H ... ... CHILI - CHEESE DOGS ... CHEESE FRIES ... ... AND COKES ... ... LATER ... ? ... RETURNING ON THE I N D " F " TRAIN ...? ... I SHOWED A N A ... ? ... CLASSIC BLACK AND WHITE PHOTOS ... ... INSTALLED AT THE CONEY ISLAND / STILLWELL AVENUE STOP, ... CIRCA ... 1 9 3 9 ... SUMMER ... AND ONE MILLION BATHERS ... ... ON THE BEACH ... ? " ... DO YOU SEE WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE , ... A N A ... ? ". " ... N O O O O ... ? " . " ... N O T - O N E - B L A C K - F A C E ... ? ... I N - T H E - C R O W D !!!! ". ... CONEY ISLAND ... ? ... IN 1 9 3 9 ... ? ... WAS A ... " RESTRICTED " BEACH ... !!! ... " W H I T E S - O N L Y " ... !!!". " ... IN THIS DAY ... ? AN AGE ... ? ... I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT ... !!! ". ( ... STRANGELY ... ? ... EXCEPT FOR HER FIRST EX - HUSBAND .... ? " ... THE FATHER OF MY BABIES " ( TWO ... NOW ... TWENTY - SOME - THING SONS ) ... I WAS THE ONLY OTHER ... ? W H I T E BOY FRIEND ... ? ... " A N A " ... ? EVER HAD ... !!! ... HER TYPICAL SEX - PARTNERS .... ? .. WERE TWENTY - SOMETHING "RASTA - MANS " ... !!!!).

"BAND - SHELL"

2007-08-09T21:25:00.001-07:00

" ... WOULD IT ALL BE FOR NAUGHT ... ? ... WOULD THE ANTICIPATION ...? ... BE GREATER THAN THE EXECUTION ... ? ... WOULD THE HYPE ... ? ... OVER - SHADOW ... ? THE EVENT ... ? ... I HAD A LEGITIMATE " A N X I E T Y - A T T A C K " ... ... THE SATURDAY NIGHT , BEFORE THE FEATURE ... ... AT THE NAUMBERG BAND - SHELL ... WITH ... ... A N A M O N T A N A ... ... NERVOUSLY RODE - OUT TO GRAND ARMY PLAZA ... ... ON THE # 2 EXPRESS ( THAT WASN'T RUNNING EXPRESS !!! )... ... DIDN'T WANT MY PERFORMANCE PARTNER ... TO BE LATE ... ... OVER - BURDENED WITH PROPS ... AND /OR COSTUMES ... ... OR ... ?... JUST ... ? SLIP THROUGH MY FINGERS ... !!! ... EVERY - THING SET ... ? ... WE HIT THE ROAD ... FOR CENTRAL PARK ... AND THE NAUMBERG BAND - SHELL ... ... SOME SORTA QUASI - UNITED - NATIONS - SPONSORED ... ... WORLD - PEACE - RIGHT - WING - EVANGELICAL - RALLY ... ? ... IS GOING ON AT THE MALL ... IN FRONT OF THE BAND - SHELL ... ... FREE TIBET ... TAIPEI , TAIWAN ... REPUBLIC OF CHINA ... ... REPUBLIC OF SOUTH KOREA ... ... THE SO - CALLED "CAPTIVE - NATIONS" ... ... UNDER GOD - LESS COMMUNIST THRALL - DOM ... ... BORN - AGAIN CHRISTIANS ... SING POP-SONGS FOR THE MASSES ... ... BLESSING OF THE FLAGS ... ... MANY FOLDING CHAIRS ... FOR THE ASSES OF THE MASSES ... ARE WHISKED -AWAY ... ... BY THE TRUCK - LOAD ... ... AT 5 : 3 0 P M ... ... BEFORE THE "POETIC LICENSE" ... EVENT IS SCHEDULED ... TO BEGIN ... ... AT 6 : 0 0 P. M. ... !!! ... ALONG WITH ALLL THEIR ... HIGH - TECH AMPS ... P . A . S ... ... AND MICROPHONES ... !!! ... ANGELA PELUSO ... THE SHOW'S PRODUCER ... IS ALREADY THERE ... ... SITTING ON A PARK - BENCH ... ON THE MALL ... ... ALONG WITH HER "ROADIE" ... AND HER 4 0 DOUBLE D D ... ... SILICONE BREAST IMPLANTS ... !!! ... CHAIN - SMOKING INCESSANTLY ... LIKE A N A ... ... IT'S GONNA BE A "LIGHT" DAY ... FOR POETS ... ... POET ... " PETER KERNS " ... A CO - FEATURE AT THE EVENT ... ? ... HAS ALREADY DROPPED OUT ... ... STATING THAT HE WAS ... N E V E R ... GOING TO WRITE , READ ... OR RECITE ... POETRY ... EVER AGAIN ... !!! ( HE IS A SCULPTOR ... BY TRADE ... !!! ) . ... ROXANNE HOFFMAN ... ? IS ... ? ... " I L L "... ... FRANK SIMONE ... DID SHOW UP ... ... EVIE IVEY ... SHOWED UP ... HAD TO GO ON FIRST ... ... DUE TO HER "TOOTH - ACHE" ... HER POOR VISION ... ... AND THE PARK'S IMPENDING DARKNESS ... AND LEAVE ... EARLY ... ? ... IN THE COMPANY OF HOME-LESS POET/ "FREE-TIBET" ADVOCATE/ ASS-HOLE .... ... TOM WEISS ...!!!??? ( ... WHO ... ? THANK-FULLY ... !!!! DID ... N O T ... ... READ IN THE OPEN - MIKE ... !!!). ... THE ANTICIPATION ... ? IS KILLING ME ... !!! ... A N A ... ? READS ... ... WE DO A QUICK RUN - THROUGH ... OF THE SCRIPT ... ... A HURRIED , LAST - MINUTE ... ... MINI - RE- HEARSAL ... ... A N A ... ? INCLUDES THE SCENES ... ? ... WHERE SHE EXPOSES HER - SELF ... FLASHING HER .. T I T S ... ... AT ME ... AND MY POLAROID CAMERA ... !!!! ... A N A ... ? YANKS DOWN THE TOP OF HER BLACK , LACY , NYLON BRA ... ... BARING HER ROSY - RED NIPPLES ... ... AND PETITE , PERKY BREASTS ... ... RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CENTRAL PARK MALL ... AS WE GO - OVER LINES , ... TOGETHER ... !!! ... I TOOK AS MANY POLAROIDS ... AS I WAS ABLE ... ... AND ... ? ... " T H I S " ... ? ... MORE THAN ANY - THING ELSE ... ? ... SIGNIFIED ... ? THAT OUR RELATIONSHIP ... ? ... A N A ... ? AND ... ? M E ... ? ... HAD CHANGED ... ONCE A - GAIN ... ... FOR ... ? T W O - W H O L E - F U C K I N ' - Y E A R S ... ??? ... SHE HAD DENIED ... M E ... ? ... " A U T H O R I Z A T I O N " ... TO TAKE PICTURES OF HER ... NUDE ...!!!! ... WHILE .. ? ... SHE ...? H A D ... ALLOWED ... THAT LITTLE "POSEUR" ... GEORGE C. ... ? ... THAT HONORED PRIVILEGE ... !!!! ... " V A L E R I E "... ? MY ... F I R S T ... E X - WIFE ... ? ... HAD PULLED THE S A M E ... ... " B U L L - S H I T " ... ON ... M E ... ? ... MANY YEARS EARLIER ... ? ( 1 9 9 7 )... !!! ... WHEN SHE DECIDED TO FINALLY ... ? ... D I V O R CE ... M E ... !!! ... THE ... F I R S T ... THING THEM BROADS "DO" ... ? ... IS TO DENY YOU ... ? THE RIGHT TO SEE THEM ... N A - K E D ... !!! ... EVER AGAIN ... !!! ... DESPITE THE FACT THAT YOU'VE SEEN THEM ... N U D E ... ??? ... A M I L L L I O N TIMES ... !!!??? ... THEY START COVERING - UP ...? AND CHANGING IN THE BATH - ROOM ..!!! ... AS IN ... ? ..." Y O U - A I N ' T ... ... N E V E R - G O N N A - S E E ... ? ... T HI S ... ? B O D Y ... A G A I N ... ... S U C K E R ...!!!". ... I M A Y NOT BE ... ? F U C K I N' HER , ANY - MORE ...? ... BUT A N A ... ? RESTORED MY NUDITY ... RIGHTS ... !!! ( ... A N A ... ? ... PORTRAYING MY ONE-TIME LIVE-IN ... ... STAND-UP - COMIC GIRL-FRIEND JANET ... ? ... IN THE SCRIPT ... ... DESIGNATED THE ROLE ... ? ... BY DONNING A JAPANESE FLORAL PRINT BATH - ROBE ... ... WRAPPING IT TIGHTLY ABOUT HER TORSO ... ... SYMBOLICALLY ...? ... COVERING UP HER BODY WITH IT ... ... AGAIN ... ? DE-LINEATING THE ... ... "YOU'LL N E V E R SEE " T H I S " BODY ... ... ANY-MORE ...". E X - LOVER STANCE ... !!!). ... AS I WAS CLICKING AWAY ... ON MY POLAROID ... ... THE HOSTESS/PRODUCER ... CAME OVER TO OUR IM PROM TU ... "PHOTO - SHOOT" ... TO TALK ... " ... WOULD YOU LIKE TO POSE ...?". ... ANGELA ... GOOD-NATUREDLY POSED FOR A COUPLE ... ... OF "RUN-OF-THE-MILL" ..."CHEESE-CAKE" SHOTS... ... KEEPING HER FLIMSY TUILLE BLOUSE ON ... ... JUTTING HER BOSOM OUT ... LIKE THE PROW OF AN ... ... EIGHTEENTH CENTURY "MAN O' WAR" ... ... FOUR-MASTED ... SAILING SHIP ... ... OF "THE LINE " ...!!! " ... ANY - THING ... ? ELSE ... ? ". " ... LATER ... ". ... SHE EVEN POSED ... " BUST - TO - BUST "... ... WITH ... " A N A M O N T A N A " ... !!! ... IT WAS ALREADY SUN - SET ... TWI - LIGHT ... ... APPROACHING ... ... WHEN THE EVENT STARTED ... ... THE COPS ... AND PARK - RANGERS ... ... HAD RUN-OFF ... THE DRUMMERS ... ... WITH THEIR PERCUSSION INSTRUMENTS ... CONGAS ... ... AND COPEIRA DANCERS ... AND BRASS - BAND ... ... WITH HORN SECTION ... ... FORCING THEM OVER BY THE VOLLEY - BALL COURTS ... ... BY THE SHEEP MEADOW ... ACROSS THE MALL ... ... THEIR BASS - BEATS ... ? ... CONTINUED TO IN-FUSE ... AND COMPETE WITH ... ... THE VOICES OF THE POETS ... ... FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT ... !!! ... CRAZY , ANNOYING ... "CHIHUAHUA-ON-ACID" ... ... POET/FITNESS GURU ... HARRY LICHTENSTEIN ... ... OPENED ... ... WITH HIS SIGNATURE PIECE ... " PERSPECTIVES "... ... THAT HE (ANNOYINGLY !!!!) ... RECITES ... ... FROM MEMORY ... AT E V E R Y SINGLE OPEN - MIKE ... ... HE READS AT ... !!! ... AND ... ? ... AS AN EXTRA ADDED BONUS ... ? ... READS A POEM ... WHICH WAS PUBLISHED IN ... ? ... THE HUNTER COLLEGE LITERARY MAGAZINE ... ... IN 1 9 7 2 ... !!!! ... WHICH HE WROTE IN 1 9 7 0 ... !!!! ... THEN ... ? ... HAS THE A U D A C I T Y ... !!??? ... TO ASK IF HE CAN "TRADE" ... ? ... HIS " N E W " BOOK OF PUBLISHED POEMS ... ? ... FOR " M Y " BOOK ... ? ... " S I B L I N G / R I V A L R Y " ... !!!???? ... AINT GONNA HAPPEN ... !!!! " ... MAYBE N E X T - T I M E ... !!!". " ... I'LL BRING MY BOOK TO THE BACK FENCE , ... NEXT SUNDAY ... !!!". ... " D U D E " ... ? ... THE CHEF ... FROM " SERENDIPITY III " ... ... ON THE UPPER EAST SIDE ... ? ... WHO LIVES IN MY CO - OP BUILDING , OUT IN ... ... BAYSIDE , QUEENS ... ... WAS IN THE AUDIENCE ... ... ANGELA ... KEEPS "BUMPING" US ... FURTHER , ... AND FURTHER .... DOWN THE LIST .... ... "CECIL" ... DOES A MEDLEY ... ... OF DIANA ROSS KARAOKE' TUNES ... ... ANGELA , HERSELF ... READS MAYA ANJALOU 'S .... ... " STILL I RISE " ... (YAWN !!!). ... SUN - SET ... GIVES WAY TO ... SUN - DOWN ... ... AFTER - GLOW OF DAY ... ... FINALLY ... ? TWI - LIGHT ... ... CENTRAL PARK'S MALL ... IN SEPTEMBER ... ... IS MOST BEAUTIFUL ... AT THIS TIME OF DAY ... ... EVEN ... ? ORDINARILY ... BLITZED ... AND STONED ... ... ANGELA ... IS IM-PRESSED ... " ... LOOKS LIKE A HUGE ... "FISH - BOWL " FROM HERE ... ". ... IT DID ... ... THE THREE - FOUR STORY HIGH ... ... CURVED NAUMBERG BAND-SHELL... ... THE NEAR - BY MALL ... ... BARELY ILLUMINATED BY REFLECTED LIGHT ... ... THE PERFECT ROUND COPSE OF THE SURROUNDING ... ... SYCAMORE TREES ... STILL IN - LEAF ... ... LATE SUMMER / EARLY AUGUST ...ARCHING - OVER ... ... EN-CIRCLING THE PRO- SCENIUM ... ... IT DID LOOK LIKE A GIANT FISH - BOWL ... ... AND THE POETS ... ? ... MERE LIZARDS ... ? ... IN GOD'S TERRARIUM ... ... S U R - REALITY ... RULES ... ... THE MOON RISES ... ... ANGELA INTRO - DUCES OUR ACT ... BY ... ... RECITING JACK KEROUAC ' S POEM ... "MOON"... ... WE'RE UP ... AT LAST ... ... DOZENS OF "PROPS" NEED TO BE SET - UP ... ... SOME OF WHICH ... ? ... I'VE N E V E R SEEN , BEFORE ... !!! ... AND HERE GOES ... ... EVERY - THING ... ? IN ANTICIPATION OF THIS ONE MOMENT ... ... A TWO YEAR EXILE ... IN THE WASTE - lAND OF PERFORMANCE ART / POETRY ... ... COMES TO AN END ... NOW ... ... I BEGIN : " ... " R U B Y ' S ... ... THE AFTER - PARTY ... FOR THE 2 0 0 6 ... ... MERMAID PARADE ...CONEY ISLAND , ... BROOKLYN , U . S . A . ... ... ON THE BOARD - WALK ... AND STILLWELL AVENUE ... ... DRUNKEN REVELLERS .... CELEBRATE ... ... BY GETTING EVEN DRUMKER ... ... MERMAIDS DANCE ON TABLE - TOPS ... ... SINGING ALONG ... TO ... THE MUSIC OF ... ... ELTON JOHN ... JOHNNY CASH ... FRANK SINATRA .... AND BILLY JOEL ... ... ME ... ? AND MY GIRL - FRIEND ... ... "MISS CARMEN MIRANDA" ... JUST CHILLIN' ... ... BASKING IN THE AFTER - GLOW ... OF ANOTHER YEAR'S ... JOB ... ? WELL - DONE ... ? ... WHEN ... " L U C I F E R " ... ???!!! ... MAKES HER GRAND EN-TRANCE ... ... IN THE COMPANY OF HER LATEST GOTH GIRL - FRIEND ... " ... HEY , B I G - M I K E " ... !!!". ... SHE HONESTLY SEEMS GLAD TO SEE ME ... !!! ... NOT LIKE L A S T TIME ... AT THE ... ... TERRIBLE TOY FAIR ... AT C B G B ' S ... !!! ... WHEN ... ? " L U C I F E R " ... ? ... TRIDED TO CONNECT ... ? ... WITH SEVERAL ROUND-HOUSE KARATE ' KICKS ... TO MY HEAD ...!!! ... WEARING HER BLACK COMBAT BOOTS ... !!! ... AFTER ACCUSING ME ... ? ... OF HITTING -ON HER ... E X - GIRL - FRIEND ...? ... SARAH ... !!! ( ...I WAS ONLY TRYING TO GET SARAH ... ? ... TO POSE ... " T O P - L E S S " ... ... FOR MY POLAROID CAMERA .... !!!). " ... GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM , ME ... !!! ... BIG MIKE ... !!! ... AND STOP HITTING - ON MY GIRL - FRIEND ... !!! ... LAST TME I SAW YOU ... ? ... YOU TRIED TO F U C K ... MY LITTLE SISTER ... !!!! ... GET THE ... F U C K ....AWAY FROM ME ... !!! ... AND STOP HITTING - ON MY " CUP - CAKE " ... !!! ".( ... A VERY , VERY REGRET - ABLE INCIDENT ... ... IN-VOLVING " L U C I F E R 'S " ... ? ... EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE SIXTEEN - YEAR - OLD ... ... YOUNGER SISTER .... !!!! ... I WAS ONLY TRYING TO GET HER EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE ... ... SIXTEEN - YEAR - OLD YOUNGER SISTER ... ? ... TO POSE ... " T O P - L E S S " ... ? ... FOR MY POLAROID CAMERA ... !!! ... " L U C I F E R " ... LASHED - OUT AT ME ... ... DRUNKENLY SWINGING HER FISTS AT A POINT IN THE AIR ... ... SIX INCHES IN FRONT OF MY FACE ... !!!!" ... GET THE ... F U C K ... AWAY FROM ME ... !!!! BIG - MIKE ... !!!! ... I'M WARNING Y O U .... FOR THE L A S T TIME ... ". ... " DISCRETION " ... ? ... BEING THE BETTER PART OF ... " VALOUR " ... ? ... AND BEING A ... "GENTLEMAN " ...(HAR!HAR!HAR!)... ... AND ... ? N O T ... WANTING TO HIT A ... "GIRL" ... (HAR!HAR!HAR!)... ... I BEAT ... A HASTY RETREAT ... ... YIELDING THE BATTLE - FIELD ... ... TO THE ..." FAIRER SEX " ... (HAR!HAR!HAR!)... ... THE "EVENT" ... ? ... HAD BEEN CARE - FULLY ... "STAGED" ... ? ... MEANT FOR ... ? "PUBLIC CONSUMPTION" ... ... " L U C I F E R "... ? ... WAS ... ? " SHOWING - OFF "... ... FOR HER ... E X - GIRL-FRIEND ... "SARAH" ... ... DEMONSTRATING ... ? FOR ... " ALL PRESENT " ... ? ... THAT SHE HAD ... ONCE , AGAIN ... "SWITCHED SIDES" ... ? ... AND ... ? WAS NOW ... ? "BATTING ... FOR THE "OTHER" TEAM " ... !!! " ... SEEEEEEE ....? EVERY - BODY ... ? ... I'M A " L - E - S - B - I - A - N " ... NOW ... !!!! ... A "SISTER OF SAPPHO "... ... A "BULL - DAGGER " ... !!!! ... A " BULL - DYKE " ... ... A " DIESEL - DYKE " ... ... A "DYKE ON A BIKE "... !!!! ... I HATE ... A L L ... MEN ... IN GENERAL ... ? ... AND ... ? " B I G - M I K E "...? IN PARTICULAR ... !!!". ... DURING FRIDAY'S RE-HEARSAL ... AT HER FRIEND ... ? ... MICHELLE'S PLACE ... GRAND ARMY PLAZA , PARK SLOPE, ... BROOKLYN ... ? ... A N A ... ? ... HAD INSISTED ON CHANGING THE REFERENCE ... ? ... FROM ... "FAUX-MAUX"... ? ... TO CARMEN MIRANDA ... ... SHE ENTERS STAGE LEFT ... DRESSED AS ... ... " L U C I F E R "... !!!! ... SHE HAD ALSO INSISTED UPON CHANGING THE " NOM DE PLUME " ... ? ... OF THE CENTRAL CHARACTER'S NAME ... ? ... FROM ... " B E T T Y " ... BACK TO THE ORIGINAL ... ... " L U C I F E R "... !!! ... A N A ... ? ... WAS A "DEAD" - RINGER FOR ..." L U C I F E R "... !!! ... EVEN EMILIO ... ? ... THE VIDEO - GRAPHER ... ... FROM MANHATTAN NEIGHBORHOOD NET WORK ... ... AND TRIBES GALLERY ... ... WHO H A D BEEN THE VIDEO -GRAPHER AT THE DE- FUNCT ... ... LEGENDARY PUNK - ROCK PALACE ... THE MUDD CLUB ... ... IN THE SEVENTIES ... ? ... COMMENTED UPON HOW "AUTHENTIC" A N A ... LOOKED ... ... AS " L U C I F E R " ... !!! ... THE HARD - CORE PUNK - ROCKER ... !!!! ... A N A ... WORE BLACK OVERALL /SHORTS ... ... LIKE BAVARIAN LEDERHOSEN ... ... MY OLD , SCUFFED BLACK COMBAT -STYLE ... ... TIMBERLAND BOOTS ... ... AND AN OLD BLACK FEDORA ... PERFECT ... !!! ... THE BASS ... AND THE BRASS ... FROM THE ...? ... DRUMMERS ' CIRCLE ... CONTINUED TO REVERBERATE IN ... THE BAND - SHELL ... UTILIZING THE STRUCTURE'S ... ... NATURAL ACOUSTICS ... ... THE SINGLE MICROPHONE ... SINGLE AMP ... ... CONTINUED TO "FEED - BACK" ... ? ... BUT THE TWO OF US ... BRAVELY ... ... PLUGGED AWAY ... AT THE SCRIPT ... !!!! ... A N A ... ? ... PORTRAYING ... "MISS CARMEN MIRANDA" ... ? ... HUNG A DRESS ABOUT HER NECK ... ... AND PERCHED A FRUIT BASCKET ... ON HER HEAD ... ... AND VAGUELY ATTEMPTED A SPANISH - AMERICAN ACCENT ... ... SHE HELD UP A PAPIER - MACHE ' ... ... HALLOWEEN DECORATION BLACK CAT ... ? ... AND A PAIR OF SCISSORS ... ? ... TO REPRESENT THE TERM ... ? ... "SHAVED - PUSSY" ... !!!! ... AND A DISPENSER BOTTLE OF "MURPHY'S OIL SOAP" ... ? ... FOR A "BRAZILIAN WAX" ... !!! ... SHE BOUGHT A PLUSH STUFFED "BULL - DOG" ... ... FROM THE PARK SLOPE ... "SALVATION ARMY " THRIFT - STORE ... ... AND A PIRATE'S PLASTIC CUT - LASS ... ? ... TO REPRESENT A ... " B U L L - D A G G E R " ...!!!! ... THEN LASHED OUT AT ME ... WITH THE CUT - LASS ... ... ATTEMPTING ... A MEDICALLY - UN- APPROVED CASTRATION ... ... WITH - OUT THE BENEFIT ... OF ANAESTHESIA ... !!!! ... PERHAPS ...? ... A N A ... ? ... IS ... IN - DEED ... ? ... A CREATIVE - ARTIST ... G E N I U S ... ???!!! ... AFTER ALL ... ? ... SHE D I D ... ? GO TO THE SORBONNE ... IN PARIS ... ? ... YOU KNOW ... ? ... AFTER OUR DIALOGUE ... ? ... I FINISHED - UP MY TWENTY / THIRTY MINUTE FEATURE ... ... RECITING A COUPLE OF MORE PERFORMANCE POEMS ... ... REFERENCING ... ? ... A CERTAIN ... ? ... " BORN - AGAIN " CHRISTIAN HEAVY - METAL GOTH ROCKER - CHICK ... !!!! " ... IF YOUR BLESS - ED LITTLE ... ? " A N A " ... ? ... SHOWED - UP IN NEW YORK ... ? ... AND SAID THAT SHE WANTED YOU BACK ... ? ... WOULD YOU LEAVE ... ? " M E " ... ???!! ... AND GO RUNNING BACK TO THAT ... THAT ... ? ... DUTCH P R O S T I T U T E ... ??? !!!!". " ... NO OF COURSE , NOT , " D E A R '... !!!! " . " ... YOU'RE A LIAR ... !!!! ". " ...YOU CALLIN' ME ... ? A L I A R ... ???!!!!". ... SHE WAS RIGHT ... OF COURSE ... !!! ... I DID GO RUNNING RIGHT BACK TO THAT LITTLE DUTCH WHORE .... ... THAT I SO DEEPLY LOVED .... ... THAT I WILL ALL - WAYS LOVE , ' TIL I DIE ... !!! ... LATER ... ? OUT IN PARK SLOPE .... THE FLAT BUSH AVENUE EXTENSION ... ... WE ATE AT THE LAST OPEN LUNCHEONETTE ... RUN BY ARABS ... ... SOME CRAZY , DRUNKEN HOME - LESS BLACK , CRACK - HEAD APPROACHED US ... ... HE SAID A N A ... ? LOOKED JUST LIKE " MARLENA DIETRICH " ... ? ... AND I ... ? LOOKED JUST LIKE ... " STEPHEN KING " ... !!!". .

...

2007-08-07T21:43:00.001-07:00

" ... MY GREATEST FEAR ... ? ... IS THAT ... ? ... I WILL WAKE ... ? ... ONLY TO FIND THAT THE MEMORY IMAGES ... ... BURNED INTO MY MIND ... ... ON FRIDAY ... ? ... WERE ONLY THE FALSE "EIKONS" ... ... OF A FEVER DREAM ... WHICH VANISHES IN THE ... ... LIGHT OF DAY ... ... LIKE THE TANTALIZING MISTS GENERATED ... ... BY A DESSERT'S OASES' MIRAGE ... ... I ARRIVED AT PROSPECT PARK ... ... GRAND ARMY PLAZA ... AT ONE IN THE AFTERNOON ... ... I FOUND THE ART - DECO ... ... 1 9 3 0 ' S APARTMENT BUILDING ... RIGHT AWAY ... ... STEPS FROM THE # 2 ... ... I R T - SEVENTH AVENUE LINE ... STATION ... ... FROM MEMORY ALONE ... ... REMEMBERING THE NIGHTS AND DAYS ... ... OF A FRIGID JANUARY ... ... BACK IN THE WINTER ... OF 2 0 0 4 ... ... WHEN ... A N A ... AND ME ... ? ... F U C K E D ... FOR HOURS ... ... ON MICHELLE'S LIVING - ROOM COUCHES ... ... WATCHING RE-BROADCASTS OF CABLE ... ... UN - CUT VERSIONS ... ( RATED R ) ... OF ... ? ... A YOUNG ... JOHN TRAVOLTA'S SEMINAL 8 0 ' S ... ... CLASSIC DANCE - FILM ..." URBAN COWBOY " ... ... PENETRATING A N A ... WITH MY ERECT MEMBER ... ... WITH - OUT A CONDOM ... ... BOBBING UP AND DOWN ... ... ON THE LEATHER - PADDED UP-HOLSTERY ... ... AS SHE RODE ME ... REVERSE - COW - GIRL ... STYLE ... ... AND MICHELLE'S BED ... ... SHOOTING A LOAD BETWEN HER PETITE BREASTS ... ... WATCHING THE ELECTRIC CAT-FISH ... SWIM ... ... IN HER BED - ROOM'S ... TROPICAL ...AQUARIUM TANK ... " ... N O T IN MY FACE ... !!!!" A N A WARNED ME ... ... WAVING HER FINGER IN MY FACE ... ... AS I JERKED - OFF ... MY POUNDING ERECTION ... ... EJACULATING ON HER MILK - WHITE FLESH ... " ... HOW DID YOU EVER MANAGE TO FIND THE PLACE ... ? ... IT'S ... A L L COVERED - UP WITH THIS SCAFFOLDING ... ... NOW ... !!!!???". " ... BY SCENT ... ALONE ... ". " ... D O N ' T - F U C K - T H I S - U P ... !!!! ... FOR M E ... !!!! ... B I G - M I K E ...!!!". ... " FAUXMAUX " ... WARNED M E ... ... THREATENED M E , TO BE MORE ACCURATE ... !!!! " ... A N A ... ??? IS A F U C K I N G - GENIUS ... !!! ... AND I ... ? WANNA WORK WITH HER ... !!! ... AS LONG AS ... SHE'S ... IN TOWN ... !!! ... I HAVEN'T BEEN ON - STAGE ... ? SINCE ...? ... THAT "JOHN - THE - BAPTIST'S HEAD " / "SALOME' "...? ... BURLESQUE STRIP -TEASE ... ? ... I PERFORMED BACK ... ON VALENTINE'S DAY ... ... S E V E N ... MONTHS AGO ... !!! IN FEBRUARY ... !!! ... FOR THAT EROTIC ART SHOW ... ... PRODUCED BY YOUR BUDDY ... ? ... " TSAURAH LITSKY "... !!! ... I HAVEN'T REALLY PERFORMED SINCE THEN ... !!!! ... I'VE BEEN HOME ... ? FOR MONTHS ... !!! ... I HAVEN'T BEEN GETTING ... ? " O U T " .... !!! ... I N E E D ... ? TO PERFORM ... !!! ... I N E E D ... ? TO GET BACK ON - STAGE AGAIN ... !!! ... THAT'S WHY I N E E D ... ? A N A ... !!!! ... SHE'S A ... F U C K I N G - GENIUS ... !!!". " ... AND ... ? T H A T ... ? MAKES ... ? M E ... ? ... N - O - T ... !!! A " G E N I U S " ... ???!!". " ... N O ... !!!! ... B I G - M I K E " ... ???? ... Y O U ... ? ... ARE THEEEEEEEEEEEEE MOST INTELLEGENT PERSON ... ? ... I HAVE ... E V E R ... MET ... !!! ... BUT , A N A ... ? ... IS A ... F U C K I NG - GENIUS ... !!!". ... MAUX PRESSURED ME TO DELETE ... A L L ... REFERENCES TO A N A ... ? ... IN MY MONOLOGUES TO BE PERFORMED IN THE UP - COMING ... ... " B I G - M I K E " / " B I G - S H O W " ... AFTER THE WEDNESDAY EVENING ... ... FIFTIETH EDITION ..." RE - UNION " PRODUCTION ... ... OF THE " B I G - M I K E " / " B I G - S H O W " ...? ... WITH ... ? A N A ... WATCHING FROM THE AUDIENCE ... ... I APPROACHED HER ... OUT - SIDE THE BOWERY POETRY CLUB ... " ... A N A ... ? ... CAN WE "BURY THE HATCHET " ... FINALLY ... ? ... WOULD YOU CONSIDER PERFORMING IN ANOTHER ... ? ... " B I G - M I K E " / " B I G - S H O W "... ? ... I W O U L D ... PAY YOU ... "." ... WELL ...? ... N O T ... ? IF YOU PAY ... " M E " ... ? ... LESS ... THAN THE OTHER PERFORMERS ... !!! ".( ... COULD THIS ON-GOING ... ENMITY ... OVER THE PAST ... ... T W O YEARS ... ? ... MERELY BE A ... MONETARY" ISSUE ...???!!!). " ... O K A Y ...". ... I CONTACTED HER VIA E - MAIL ... ... SHE ... ? ACTUALLY ... R E - P L I E D ... ... TO ONE OF MY ELECTRONIC MISSIVES ....? ... FOR THE F I R S T TIME ... !!! ... IN OVER T W O YEARS ... !!!! ... I HAD AN UP - COMING FEATURE ... ... AT ANGELA PELUSSO ' S ... .... " P O E T I C - L I C E N S E " ... SERIES ... ... TENTH ANNIVERSARY EDITION ... ... HELD AT CENTRAL PARK'S ... ... NAUMBERG BAND - SHELL ... ... AN OUT - DOOR ... OUT - LAW EVENT ... !!! ... I INVITED A N A ... ? ... TO PERFORM ... WITH ME ... ... PERHAPS ... ? MAUX ... ? I S RIGHT ... ? ... AFTER A L L ... !!! ... JUST MAY - BE ... ? ... A N A ... IS INDEED ... A " F U C K I N G - GENIUS " ... HER IDEAS FOR MY PIECE ... ? ... " R U B Y ' S ... O N - T H E - B O A R D W A L K - OF ... ... CONEY ISLAND BROOKLYN , U S A / " L U C I F ER "... ? ... WERE TRULY ... IN - SPIRED ... !!! ... FOR PROPS ... TO ACCOMPANY THE DIALOGUE ... AND MY NARRATION ... ? ... A N A ... WHIPPED - OUT ... A PAPIER-MACHE' HALLOWEEN BLACK CAT ... ? ... TO REPRESENT ... " B E T T Y ' S " ... DARK , DARK , FRESHLY - SHAVEN ... ... " P U S S Y "... !!! ... I SUPPLIED A N A ... WITH A PAIR OF MY OLD "TIMBERLAND" COMBAT - BOOTS ... ... A HUGE PAIR OF BLACK MENS' BOXER SHORTS ... ... AND ... A SELDOM - USED D I L D O ... ONCE BELONGING TO "JANET" ... ... MY STAND - UP COMIC , LIVE-IN , E X - GIRL-FRIEND ... !!! ... A N A ... BOUGHT A PAIR OF OVER-SIZED BLACK OVERALL - SHORTS ... (LIKE LEDERHOSEN)... ... AT THE FLATBUSH AVENUE SALVATION ARMY THRIFT SHOPPE ... IN PARK SLOPE ... ... AND ... ? WEARING THE BOOTS , THE OVERALLS , AND AN OLD BLACK FEDORA ... ? ... A N A ... ? BECAME THE SPITTING - IMAGE OF ... ... " B E T T Y "...!!! ... A N A ... ? EVEN RE-QUESTED A NAME - CHANGE OF THE CHARACTER ... ? ... BACK TO ... " L U C I F E R " ... AND I AGREED ... !!! ... (IT WAS M U C H BETTER ...!!!). ... I INVITED A N A ... ? ... OUT TO CENTRAL PARK ... ... TO VIEW THE VENUE ... ? ... BEFORE THE EVENT ... ... WE HEADED UP TO THE 7 2 N D STREET STOP ... ... ON THE UPPER WEST SIDE ... ... VIA THE # 2 EXPRESS I R T LINE ... ... DIS - EMNARKED ... ? ... HEADED TO THE PARK ... ... AND EVEN W I T H ... ? ... MY BEST NEW LESBO HAIR - CUT 2 0 0 6 ... ? ... ACCORDING TO THE "BEST OF NEW YORK" ... ? ... " VILLAGE VOICE " ARTICLE ... SPORTING A ... ? " M U L L E T " ... ? ... RESEMBLING A DYKE ... ? ... FROM PARK - SLOPE , BROOKLYN ...? ... T W O SEPARATE ... " PASSERS - BY " ... ? ... IN - CORRECTLY IDENTIFIED ME AS ... ? ... " J E R R Y - G A R C I A " ... !!!! ... THE LATE - GREAT SINGER/SONG - WRITER/GUITARIST ... ? ... OF THE ERST - WHILE ... ... ACID - ROCK SEVENTIES CLASSIC BAND ... ? ... "THE GRATE - FUL DEAD " ... !!!! ... " T H I S " ... ??!!! IMPRESSED A N A ... !!!! ... WE ENTERED THE PARK ... AT THE " NAVIGATOR'S GATE " ... ... AT WEST 7 2 N D STREET ... AND CENTRAL PARK WEST ... ... OPPOSITE ... " THE DAKOTA " ... ... WALKED THROUGH "STRAWBERRY FIELDS" ... ... HEARD A CAT - BIRD ... "MEOWING" ... IN A WILD ROSE BUSH ... ... WE CHECKED OUT THE NAUMBERG BAND - SHELL ... AND MALL ... ... ROLLER BLADERS ... SKATE - BOARDES ... DOG WALKERS ... "FOLKIES" ... ... WITH THEIR GUITARS ... CASES OPEN FOR SPARE CHANGE ... AND OTHER ... ... CONTRIBUTIONS ... ... THAT'S ... ? WHEN I SUGGESTED TO A N A ... ? ... THAT WE GO ROW - BOATING ... ... ON CENTRAL PARK LAKE ... ... ACROSS THE BETHESEDA FOUNTAIN ... FROM THE BAND - SHELL ... AND MALL ... ... SHE AGREED ... !!! " ... BUT ... !!!! ... WE MUST BOTH PAY ... HALF ... !!! ". ( ... SHE ... ? DID NOT WANT TO WIND - UP OWING ME ... ? ... A N Y - T H I N G ... !!! ). ... IT HAD BEEN ... ? Y E A R S ... ... SINCE I LAST TOOK SOME - ONE ROWING ... ON THE LAKE ... ... " AMELIA " ... ? " JANET " ... ? " VALERIE " ... ? ... BUT THE " TECHNIQUE " ... ? HAD N O T LEFT ME ... !!! ... THE HUNGARIAN - IMMIGRANT , HEAVY - WEIGHT CREW COACH ... ... AT COLUMBIA COLLEGE ... ... TOLD ME THIRTY YEARS EARLIER .. ? ... THAT I HAD A NATURAL TALENT FOR ROWING ... ... I ROWED A N A ... ? " ... ONCE AROUND THE LAKE ... " ... BY THE MARSHES ... ... OF THE NOTORIOUS GAY " CRUISING " SPOT ... ? ... " T H E - R A M B L E " ... ? ... WE COUNTED ... S I X ... MALE , NORTH - EASTERN ... ... " ELEGANT SLIDER " TURTLES ... ... RECENT " RELEASEES " ... ? ... FROM SOME SCHOOL - KID'S HOME TERRARIUM ... ... AFTERWARDS ... ? ... AS THE SEPTEMBER SUN ... ... BEGAN TO SET OVER THE HUDSON RIVER ... ... WE WALKED DOWN TO RIVERSIDE PARK ... ... WE ACCIDENTALLY CRASHED A VERY EXCLUSIVE YUPPY PARTY ... ... AT THE 7 9 T H STREET BOAT BASIN ... ... THEN WALKED TO THE " ESPLANADE " ... ... YET ONE MORE NOTORIOUS GAY CRUISING SPOT ... ... THE TWINKILING STARS ... AND PLANETS ... ... HAD JUST BECOME VISIBLE IN THE TWI - LIGHT OVER THE PALISADES ... ... OF SECAUCUS , NEW JERSEY ... ... AS THE SUN DISAPEARED BELOW THE HORIZON OF THE FAR - OFF POCONOS MOUNTAINS ... ... THE NIGHT 'S SALT - AIR BREEZE ... ... BLEW - IN FROM THE HUDSON RIVER'S ESTUARY ... ... WHAT MORE ROMANTIC SETTING ... ? COULD I HAVE WISHED FOR ... ? ... WE SAT DOWN ON A PARK BENCH ... ... GAZING UP AT THE FLASHING ELECTRIC - NEON LIGHTS ... ... OF " TRUMP CITY " SKY - SCAPERS ... ... " A N A " ... LIT UP A CIGARETTE ... BEGAN SMOKING ... ... EXHALING PLUMES INTO THE CRISP EVENING AIR ... ... THIS ... ? IS MY LAST , BEST CHANCE ... ... FOR A SEXUAL RECONCILIATION ... ... IF NOT NOW ... ? NEVER ... ... THESE CHANCES ONLY COME ALONG ... ? ONCE IN A LIFE - TIME ... ... IF I DID NOT ACT NOW ... ? ... WHAT WOULD FOLLOW ... ? ... BUT A LIFE - TIME OF REGRETS ... ... FOR A CHOICE OPPORTUNITY NOT TAKEN ... ... REGRETS CARRIED TO ONE'S DEATH - BED ... ... I MADE MY MOVE ... " ... " A N A " ... ? ( I WHISPERED) ... ... I STILL LOVE YOU ... ? ... I'LL ALL - WAYS LOVE YOU ... ... CAN'T YOU REGARD ... ? ALL THIS TIME ... ? ... THAT WE ' VE SPENT APART ... ? ... LIKE AN ... ? EXTENDED "TREAT - MENT" ... ? ... FOR A TERRIBLE ILLNESS ... THAT I WAS SUFFERING FROM ... ? ... A DISEASE ... ? THAT I'VE JUST GOTTEN OVER ... ? ... THAT I'VE JUST RECOVERED FROM ... ? ... LIKE CANCER ... ? ... I'VE JUST RETURNED FROM THE BRINK OF DEATH ... ? ON THE CANCER WARD ... ? ... AFTER LIFE - THREATENING *CHEMO - THERAPY" ... OR RADIATION THERAPY ... ... OR JUST EMERGED ... ? FROM A LOCKED "RE - HAB" FACILITY .. ? ... AFTER AN AGONIZING , PAIN -FULL , PROLONGED TREATMENT ... ? ... STRUGGLING WITH ALCOHOLISM ... ? OR DRUG ADDICTION ... ? ... I ' VE RE - AWAKENED ... COME TO MY SENSES ... ... I'VE SEEN THE LIGHT OF DAY ... ... SEEN THE ERROR OF MY WAYS ... ... AND WITH NEW , CLEAR VISION ... ? ... A FRESH SET OF EYES ... ? ... I SEE THAT ... ? I ONLY WANT ... Y O U ... ? ... COULD YOU TAKE ME BACK ... ? ". ... A N A SHOOK HER HEAD ... WAGGING HER EVER - PRESENT GLOWING CIGARETTE BUTT ... ... BETWEEN TWO LONG , TAPERING DELICATE FINGERS ... FOR EMPHASIS ... " ... NAY ... NAY ... NAY ... ECHT DAT ... !!! " . ( ..HER REFUSALS AND DENIALS ... ? ... WERE ALWAYS FRAMED IN HER NATIVE DUTCH TONGUE ... !!! ) . " ... WE MAY STILL WORK TOGETHER ... ? ... BUT WE CAN N E V E R BE ... ? " L O V E R S " ... ? AGAIN ... !!!! ... AND IF YOU ONLY WANT TO WORK WITH ME ... ? ... BECAUSE YOU WANT TO " F U C K " ME ... ? ... MAY BE ... ? WE SHOULD JUST CALL OFF THE PERFORMANCE ... ???!! ". ( ... THE THOUGHT HAD CROSSED MY MIND ... ). ... SO MUCH FOR SECOND CHANCES ... ... WRITER ROBERT ALPOM ... ( "THE FIVE PEOPLE YOU MEET IN HEAVEN" ... ... "TUESDAYS WITH MAURY " ... FAME ). ... HAS PUBLISHED A NEW BOOK ... ... " FOR JUST ONE DAY MORE " ... ... POSITING THE QUESTION ... ? ... IF YOU HAD ONE MORE CHANCE TO SEE A DEPARRTED LOVED - ONE ... ? ... WHAT W O U L D YOU SAY ... ? ... FOR TWO AND A HALF YEARS ... ? ... " A N A " ... ? W A S EFFECTIVELY ... " DEAD " ... TO ME ... ... BUT I GOT HER BACK ... ... I HAD THAT UNIQUE OPPORTUNITY TO TALK TO HER AGAIN ... ... TO PERFORM WITH HER AGAIN ... ... TO HAVE HER IN MY LIFE AGAIN ... ... TO BE INVOLVED WITH HER AGAIN ... ... WHAT OTHER CHOICE DID I HAVE .... ? ... BUT TO ENGAGE HER ... ? AS I DID ... ... AS I TRIED TO DO ... ( ...THE WHOLE EXPERIENCE HAD A VERY DREAM - LIKE , SUR REAL QUALITY TO IT ... ) . ... SECOND CHANCES RARELY HAPPEN ... ... YOU HAVE TO GRASP THEM ... WHEN THEY SO IN - FREQUENTLY COME AROUND ... ... "CARPE DIEM " ... ... " GRASP THE DAY " ... !!! ".

"WHEN PANICK ATTACKS!!!"...CIRCA 4 0 4 B.C. (BEFORE THE CURRENT ERA)

2007-07-31T19:15:00.001-07:00

"...THE GREEK GOD..."PAN"......PATRON OF SHEPHERDS......A "SATYR"...HALF-MAN...HALF-GOAT......PLAYED HIS FLUTES......"THE PIPES OF PAN"......INDUCING..."PANIC"......IN "ALL" ... WHO LISTENED TO THEM...... DREAMING OF A BURLESQUE STRIPPERS' PARADE...... ALL, MARCHING COMPLETELY " N A - K E D " ... ... DOWN THE MIDDLE OF AMSTERDAM AVENUE...!!!... INTERRUPTED BY REPEATED BANGING......ON MY FRONT DOOR......AND REPEATED RINGING OF MY FRONT-DOOR BELL......BANG !!! BANG !!! BANG !!!...RING!!! RING !!! RING !!!"...WHAT IS IT...???!!!"."...ARE YOU FUCKING - AROUND ON ME...???!!!"."...WHAT TIME IS IT...???!!!"."...FIVE O'CLOCK ...IN THE MORNING...!!! ...ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME....!!!??? ... CAN I COME IN...?"."...SURE..."."...I HAD A PANIC ATTACK...!!!...CAN I LAY DOWN IN BED NEXT TO YOU...?"."...OKAY..."."...I HAD A DREAM...A NIGHT-MARE......IN THIS DREAM...?...YOU WERE FUCKING SOME-ONE ELSE......YOU WERE FUCKING A "GAY" VERSION OF "BIG MIKE"...!!!...IT WAS "BIG MIKE"...?...ONLY "GAY"...!!!...YOU WERE FUCKING A "GAY" VERSION OF YOURSELF...!!...A " G A Y " B I G - M I K E ...!!!...ARE YOU "GAY"...!!!???"." ...UH...I DON'T KNOW... ... I'M ... JUST SORTA ..."CONFUSED"...I GUESS... ...MAYBE I AM... ...MAYBE I AM "GAY"...AFTER ALL...???!!! ...I MEAN..." N O "...!!!...NO!!! NO !!! NO !!!...OF COURSE " N O T " , DEAR...!!!...NO...!!! NO...!!! NO...!!!...I'M " N O T " G A Y...!!!...LOOK...? I TELLING YOU, I'M " N O T " G A Y ...!!! ...I SWEAR TO GOD...!!!"."...I'M "PSYCHIC", YOU KNOW......I HAVE A " M A G I C - E I G H T - B A L L "...!!!...I'M "NEVER" WRONG...!!!...IF I "DREAMED" THAT YOU WERE " G A Y " ...?...THEN...?..."YOU"...? REALLY "MUST" BE " G A Y ", B I G - M I K E ...!!!...AND ...? IF I "DREAMED" THAT YOU WERE CHEATING ON ME...?..."THAT" MEANS YOU "WERE" ACTUALLY CHEATING ON ME...!!!"....ARE YOU FUCKING-AROUND ... ? BEHIND MY BACK...???!!"."...NO!!NO!!NO!!!......OF COURSE, " N O T ", DEAR...!!!..."YOU"...? CALLING "ME"...? A LIAR...???!!!!...BUTT...?...IF YOU ARE SOOOOOOOOOO REALLY FUCKIN' "PSYCHIC"...?...I WONDER WHY...?...YOU DIDN'T SEE A RED-HAIRED, RETIRED BARNARD PROFESSOR OF SEVENTEENTH CENTURY ENGLISH LITERATURE...IN YOUR DREAM...?...A SEXY, SEX-A-GENARIAN, SIXTY-YEAR-OLD "RED-HOT" GRANDMA......WITH VIBRANT RED PUBIC HAIR......AND A GREAT, BIG, BEAUTIFUL SET OF " T I T S "...???!!!!(...YEAH...!!! I'M "BANGIN' " GRAND-MA...!!!)...SEE ANY-ONE LIKE ...." T H A T "...????!!!!...IN YOUR LITTLE FUCKIN ' " MA G I C - E I G H T - BA L L "...?...LATELY, "SWEETIE"...? HUH...?"."...Y'KNOW...?...I CAME BY HERE...AT "ELEVEN"...?...AND "YOU"...? WASN'T HOME...."."...WELLLLLLLLL...MUST'VE " J U S T " MISSED ME ... !!!!...CAME BACK ON A LATER TRAIN......AND...?..."GOOD" THING I "DIDN'T" SPEND THE NIGHT UP AT THE COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY MORNINGSIDE HEIGHTS CAMPUS...... LIKE SOME NAGGING, "CLING-Y", "NEED-Y", "WHINE-Y" , ... " INTELLECTUAL " , OLD " B I T C H "...?... BEGGED ME TO...!!! (THANK GOD !!!!)......OR I WOULD'VE HAD A LOT MORE EXPLAINING TO DO, NOW...!!!...AND..."DIS" - REGARD THOSE "FRESH" SCRATCH MARKS ... ...NEWLY CLAWED INTO MY BACK...!!!....THE ...UH..." C A T "....DID "THAT"...!!!...YEAH ...THAT'S RIGHT...... OOOOOOPS !!!...WAIT-A-MINUTE...!!!...I SUDDENLY REALIZE... I DON'T EVEN OWN A "CAT"...!!!...I MEAN......ONE OF MY ACUTELY PSYCHOTIC PATIENTS MUST'VE DONE "THAT"......WHEN HE ATTACKED ME ...BEFORE I HAD A CHANCE TO JAB HIM ......IN THE "ASS"...WITH HIS ANTI-PSYCHOTIC DRUGS...AND RESTRAIN HIM...!!!...YEAH...YEAH..."THAT'S" IT...!!!...NOW I REMEMBER...!!!...BUT THAT " S T I L L " DOESN'T MAKE ME " G A Y "...!!!"."...I AM YOUR STALKER...!!!...NOW...? IT'S "OFFICIAL"...!!!...I'M GONNA DRIVE BY HERE ...EVERY NIGHT ...AT PRECISELY ELEVEN P.M. ... ... IN MY LUXURY "LEXUS" SEDAN...?(...WITH ITS OPTIONAL POWER WINDOWS, DOORS - LOCKS, AND " MOON-ROOF " ...... AND "ANTI-LOCK BRAKING SYSTEM"...)...JUST TO CHECK ON YOU...!!!...AND IF I DON'T FIND YOU AT HOME...!!!???...I'LL LEAVE A BIG , BLOODY "BEEF-HEART"...ON YOUR FRONT DOORSTEP...!!!...ALONG WITH A BOUQUET OF A DOZEN " B L A C K " ROSES...A BUTCHER - KNIFE......AND A SMALL VIAL OF MY "OWN" MENSTRUAL BLOOD...!!!...YOU...BIG...FAT...UGLY...VERY " G A Y " - B I G - M I K E, YOU...!!!"."..."M I C H A E L "...?... LISTEN TO ME...?... " Y O U "...? " YOU " ...? ARE A TERRRRRIBLE LIAR...!!!... SO WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO...?... IS TO "WRITE-DOWN"...?...EXACTLY "WHICH" LIES...?...YOU TOLD TO WHICH ... OF "ALL" YOUR LITTLE "GIRLIES"...!!!!...SO...? "THAT" WAY...?...YOU WILL REMEMBER "WHICH" LIES...? YOU TOLD TO "WHO"...!!!"."...THANK YOU..." DOCTOR ELLIE ROTHSCHILDE , M . D . "...!!!".

"...ONE DAY A "CONQUEROR"..? THE NEXT...? A "REFUGEE' " !!!

2007-07-12T00:54:00.001-07:00

"... WALKED INSIDE THE "REGISTRAR'S OFFICE".. ... AFTER FIVE WEEKS ... " UN - EMPLOYED "... " ... HEY...!!! LOOK ... !!! I FOUND A " QUARTER "...!!!". ... TEEN - AGED BLACK - GIRL ... SQUATS DOWN ... ... HER FADED BLUE DENIM MICRO - MINI - SKIRT ... ... HIKED - UP HER HONEY - COLOURED THIGHS ... ... PICKS - UP THE COIN ... FROM THE RATTY - GREY , WORN INSTITUTIONAL CARPET ... ( "... THAT " QUARTER " ...??!! WAS SUPPOSED TO BE "MINE"...!!! ... " B I T C H "...!!!"). "...I'M THE "NURSE"...THE "AGENCY" SENT ME... ...TO VACCINATE YOUR IN - COMING STUDENTS...". ..."THESE"...? ..."AREN'T" ..."COLLEGE KIDS"... ..." THEY " ARE ... NINETEEN... AND TWENTY - YEAR - OLD ... " EX - CONS " ... ..." HIGH - SCHOOL - " DROP - OUTS "..." WELFARE - TO - WORK - FARE " ...RECIPIENTS... ...."GRATE-FULLY RECOVERING"...DOPE FIENDS...DRUG ADDICTS...AND ALCOHOLICS... ..."COURT-MANDATED" ...TO "RE-HAB"... ..."DUMB - ASS" LOSERS... (... "FREAKS" ..." FAGS "....AND "FELONS "....!!!). ..."THEY" OPEN THE ... " OPTOMETRISTS" OFFICE " ...WHICH DOUBLES AS THE TEACHING LAB ...FOR ASPIRING " OCULISTS "... ...SO I CAN BEGIN THE IMMUNIZATIONS... ...THERE'S A "QUARTER"...SITTING ON THE RATTY - GREY, WORN INSTITUTIONAL CARPET... ... " THAT 'S " MY " QUARTER " ... !!!! ... I CAN CALL THAT SEX - A - GENARIAN RETIRED BARNARD PROFESSOR... ... UP AT "COLUMBIA'S" ...MORNINGSIDE CAMPUS...ON CLAREMONT AVENUE... ... IF I OFFER TO "... EAT HER PUSSY...?" (...WITH HER VIBRANT RED PUBIC - HAIR...?) ...SHE "JUST" MIGHT BUY ME DINNER...? ...LET ME STAY " OVER - NIGHT "...? ...SO'S I CAN GET UP TO THE WASHINGTON HEIGHTS CAMPUS...OF "INTERBORO COLLEGE" ...ON AUDOBON AVENUE... ...SAVE ME A TWO - HOUR TRIP ... FROM LONG ISLAND... ...AND A FIVE DOLLAR TRAIN - TICKET ON THE LIRR... ..."ALL"...? FOR THE "COST"...OF A "FOUND" QUARTER...? ...DIS-COVERED ON A RATTY - GREY , WORN INSTITUTIONAL CARPET ...? ... AT A " THIRD - RATE " VOCATIONAL SCHOOL'S FLOOR...!!! ... I ONCE "SAT" IN JUDGEMENT...? ...ON A GIRL...WHO "FUCKED" SOME GUY... A "STRANGER"...FOR A "FELAFEL SANDWICH"... ...SHE SAW ME SITTING AT THE BAR OF THE "BOWERY POETRY CLUB"... "...HEY, "BIG MIKE"...SEE THAT "GUY" ...SITTING AT THE END OF THE BAR...? ...I MET HIM ON "CRAIG'S LIST"...WE'RE ON A "DATE"...? ..."HE"...? WON'T BUY ME DINNER...!!! ...I'M STARVING...I HAVEN'T EATEN "ALL" DAY...AND "HE"..? WON'T BUY ME DINNER...???!!! ...WHAT A "DOUCHE - BAG"...!!! ...I'M GONNA "DITCH" HIM...RIGHT HERE....AND NOW...!!! ...I'M HUNGRY... ...HEY, "BIG MIKE"...? ...DO YOU KNOW ANY GUY HERE...? WHO WOULD BUY ME A "FELAFEL SANDWICH"...? ...IF I "FUCKED" HIM...?". "...YEAH..."ANDY"...IN THE CORNER , THERE... ...BUT...? YA GOTTA BE "QUICK"...ABOUT IT... ...THE UNITED STATES IMMIGRATION AND NATURALIZATION SERVICE ...? IS DEPORTING HIM BACK TO "CANADA"...? IN THE MORNING... ...AS AN "UN-DESIRE-ABLE ALIEN"...!!!". ...THEY GOT "MIGHTY COSY" IN A DARK CORNER OF THE BAR... ...LEFT THE CAFE'...TOGETHER...? ...SHE RETURNED...ALONE...TWO HOURS LATER... ...EATING A " FELAFEL SANDWICH "...!!!...A SELF-SATISFIED "SMIRK"...PLASTERED ACROSS HER FACE...!!!!...I ONCE STOOD IN JUDGEMENT OVER A GIRL... ..WHO FUCKED A GUY...A CANADIANILLEGAL ALIEN... ...FOR A "FELAFEL SANDWICH "...!!!... SOOOOOOOOOOOOO...?...I TOOK THAT "FOUND" QUARTER...AND MADE A CALL...FROM A PUBLIC PAY-PHONE......I "HOOKED-UP"... WITH THE RETIRED BARNARD PROFESSOR OF ENGLISH LITERATURE... ...THE SEXY... " SEX - A - GENARIAN "... ...AT "AMIR'S FELAFEL"...ON UPPER BROADWAY... ...I WAS "FUCKING" STARVING... ...HADN'T EATEN "ALL" DAY... ...SHE BOUGHT ME A "FELAFEL SANDWICH"... ...I WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO "FUCKING "GRATE-FULL..? ... I "F U C K E D " HER...!!! ...AND "ALL"...? ...FOR THE COST OF A FOUND "QUARTER"... ...DISCOVERED ON THE WORN, RATTY- GREY INSTITUTIONAL CARPET... ...ON THE FLOOR OF A " THIRD - RATE " VOCATIONAL COLLEGE...!!!!...YEAH...I FUCKED A SENIOR CITIZEN...FOR A FELAFEL SANDWICH...!!!...YEAH...I "BANGED" GRANNY...FOR A FREE MEAL...!!!... I ONCE SAT IN JUDGEMENT ON A GIRL... WHO FUCKED A GUY... ...A STRANGER...FOR A FUCKIN' "FELAFEL SANDWICH"... "...JUDGE NOT... ....LEST YE BE "JUDGED"...!!!". ...A SINCERE TRIBUTE TO SAINT " CHARLES BUKOWSKI "...".